our new life in better mexico

an update on Nathan! just cause he's on my mind...

2008-10-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

Today is Nathan's first ever field trip and my goodness he was excited! His kindergarten class is going to the pumkin patch. I can't wait to hear about it and see which pumpkin he chose to bring home. He has been talking about today for, oh, about the last week and a half. I think it is such a big deal for him because he never really goes on an adventure like this without his family. Of course, we go places on the weekend together and he's been to the zoo and museum and other such outings with his grandparents/aunt/uncle. So, to go somewhere with his classmates (and new friends) and his teachers (and several volunteering parents) is super cool for him. Riding the bus isn't a biggie since he does so twice a day now for school but taking his lunch was pretty dang exciting LOL. I think there has been one day this year where he took his lunch, otherwise they buy lunch at school. Which, I have to add this, their food selection is very impressive. They have 3-5 entrees to choose from each day and 5-7 sides. To drink they can choose water, chocolate, strawberry or plain milk. Every day includes at least one vegetarian option and most days there are two. Really, when I was a kid I remember them just plopping down whatever was served that day. Anyways, Nathan picked out a lunchable which included a capri sun and skittles. SO dang exciting for him.

He is doing really well in school, he loves it and has "green" days (which means no misbehavior) that's not to say he has been an angel though just maybe hasn't gotten caught or turned his behavior around by the end of the day. One day I know he poked someone with a stick. ugh! Another day, Denae and her friend C came home with stories of Nathan trying to kiss girls on the bus!! OMG, apparently he was trying to kiss the little (well older than him) girl next to him and she moved seats so he went on to try and kiss another girl. The bus driver got upset with him and made him come sit up in the very first row and all by himself. Told him he can't sit with anyone but his sister from now on and he needs to be in front where he can be supervised. SO I had to talk to him about respecting other peoples bodies and boundaries and that it's no okay to try and kiss other little girls without their permission. Of course, Denae and C chime in to remind me they weren't little girls but BIG girls cause they were 3rd graders. Aaron thought it was a bit funny, kinda like that's my boy. whatever. He told Nathan he will get himself into trouble going for older women (you know, cause I'm older than he is). Other than those issues the new school is going well. For the first week or so Nathan was sure he'd never make a friend, he sat crying on the playground because no one wanted to play with him. Broke my heart but I told him in time you will make lots of friends. And now, he says all 18 kids in his class are his buddies and there's a select few who he talks about a lot as being good friends. He'll say, "mom afterschool can I go play at K's house?" Makes me happy that he is getting along with others and having a good time. This child is brilliant I tell you. I have worried that he won't be challenged enough at school but so far he seems to keep busy and mostly enljoys the social aspect of it. He has told me, "mom, we aren't even doing any math during math time. We are just talking about colors and right and left, up and down, first and last" Like, they haven't even begin to talk about the value of numbers and this kid is adding and subtracting double digits... both on paper and in his head if you ask him. He's amazing he really is.

Speaking of being a smarty, HE IS READING!!!! OMG, like really reading. It's just something he has mastered in the past week but it's one of the most wonderful things to watch. He loves to sit and read a book, always outload and he never gives up. He'll keep trying and sounding out the letters until he gets it. At first I was thinking he was just "reading" the books from memory. He especially likes Dr. Seuss stories and I think the fact that they rhyme a lot and many times just one letter changes like fox and box. But having him read to me, I realized he IS reading. Including library books be brings home from school which we have never read. This confirmed it for me. I love how he will sit there, in the corner of the room and be so into his story that the world could be falling apart and he doesn't even notice. Okay, so the worlds not ending but Jayden could be throwing a fit, Lincoln screaming for something and Denae has her music blasting and yet Nathan is quietly sounding out the words in his story as if it's the only thing that exists. Denae is loving his newfound knowledge as well, she quizzes him on her spelling words (2nd grade) and surprisingly he can write and spell many many words as well. I have been a bit blown away watching Nathan recently. I told Aaron, he's a genius! and of course he says, "well duh! they all are" LOL. So then I'm surfing around on MDC and I spot a thread about gifted and talented children and learning to read. I clicked on it thinking maybe I'll have something in common with these mama's as my just-started-kindergarten-a-month-ago boy is reading. Well, nevermind that as these parents are talking about their 15 month olds reading street signs and shit. I'm pretty sure at 15 months he was just saying mama and dada, maybe ball for craps sake. Oh well, he's still a genius to me :-) man, I love that kid.

this is going a little too far...

2008-09-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

Anxiety Detectors for Airport Security?

Really? Really?!?!? I mean can you imagine how many times it would be set off each hr? Like the wait to get thru security at busier airports isn't irritating and long enough. Think of all the people who are a bit afraid to fly or are nervous for whatever reason about where they are going? OR like me, travelling with four young probably exhausted children. I'm already a nervous wreck and then after going thru the rat maze that they call the line for security I'm just glad all my children haven't slipped under the rubber band rope thing and taken off!

Thoughts running thru my head guaranteed to make my heart rate increase include,

"I'm so tired, and hungry and this baby on my back keeps pulling my hair!" or

"this is going to suck to have to fold up both strollers and keep the kids in sight"

"are any of my offspring going to have a breakdown when it comes time to remove their shoes we just an hr ago fought to get on?"

"Did we drop one of the six boarding passes, or worse one of our ID'?"

"When asked what their name is and if we are their parents will any of my smarty pant kids say something not completely true?"

"OMG we have ten freaking minute's to get the the gate that is miles away!"

"will we annoy everyone on the plane since we take up an entire row and have noisy children?"

"Do I have to take the baby out of the carrier now that he just fell asleep to get thru the metal detector, even though it clearly does not have anything metal?"

"Does my 3 year old still have those big sharp scissors on his carryon - yup I'm sure he does!"

"will they toss my un-opened water I planned to use to make a bottle of formula, meaning I have less time to get to the gate because I have to buy some? Yup, they always do!"

"what's that smell, Did someone poop their pants? that will be FUN to change on the plane"

"Why do my children insist on using separate bins (and doing it all themselves) for each item they have to put thru the x-ray machine"

"oh the struggle of getting 6 peoples shoes BACK on when people behind us are pushing thru to get to their plane"

"what did we forget to pack? probably many things"

"ahhhhh next time we should just drive!!!"

"and oh man do I have to pee so bad!!"

I'd trigger the sensor thing off for sure! which would just make me even more anxious and stressed because, uh, having to get searched again and questioned would guarantee we miss our flight. you know, the one we were barely going to make.

Really? is the current security and terror threat level not enough to convince our country it's safe to fly? lets hope we don't really have to pass any kind of "medical" test such as this, done by machinery to board a plane.

$48

2008-09-10T23:34:00.000-07:00

Since today was payday from Associated Content I logged in over there to check my pageviews. I have 145,462 as of now. That's pretty good considering I only have 99 articles published and the last one was 10 months ago. I really should start submitting some pieces. Really, I have a ton started and saved in Word I just never get motivated enough to actually edit them and submit. Think of how much higher my pageviews could possibly be if I were adding articles, even every once in a while!

Looking at the stats for my top viewed article: Is the Red 40 Food Dye Additive Having a Negative Impact on Your Child? I did the math and realized I have made a total of $48 just on that one simple, short piece. AND I am confident it will continue to get hits, as I get more comments each month and it's always my biggest bonus pay. $8 was my upfront payment when I wrote it Jan. 2007 and while it's taken over a year and a half to earn the other $40 on it, I have done zero promotion (besides mentioning it here a few times). To me it was more than worth taking the time to write out a few thoughts and come up with a good key word title. It doesn't even have to be a well written article, sad but true. With the way internet advertising works, the bottom line is always going to be how many hits you get. Even looking at my lowest paid piece: $5 upfront and an average of .20 per month, it still ends up being worth the time and effort.

I was just telling Aaron the other night that it would be even easier to come up with good key words and titles since Google now has that drop down when you search something telling you how many websites those words are found on. Pretty neato and depending on how I search red 40 and kids, my AC article often shows up on the first page of google. So here it is, yet another blog post to myself to say, "Katie, submit something to AC!! The sooner the better and the longer it will pay off!" maybe, just maybe I'll listen to myself this time.

Happy 29th Birthday to me!!

2008-09-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

well, it was over a week ago but I just can't get with the program and blog more often. Anyhow, this post is for my mama. To show her my pretty flowers :-) She worries about me having a good birthday when I'm so far away. I did, it was a thursday night but the day went well... hung out with Jayden and Lincoln while the big kids were at school.

Aaron came home from work with a dozen different colored roses (red, purple, pink, yellow) and other pretty flowers including snap dragons. He knows what I like and for the past week now my house has smelled like roses. We went out for a yummy dinner at Garduno's. Of course, I had a coconut margarita!! Oh and he got me a Tiramisu cake. mmmm.

and Denae wearing my b-day present. She loves it and begs me for a turn.

so yup, I'm a year older and very close to 30 now LOL. But it's okay cause I'm happy. Life is going super well, better than it ever has been for that matter. Looking back, it was a couple days after I turned 28 that Aaron's work mentioned the possibility of moving to New Mexico. Sorta turned our lives upside down at that point and so much has happened since then. I am confident that the next year will also bring us wonderful things and for that I am extremly grateful... and excited about our future.

First Day of School!

2008-08-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

way behind on blogging stuff, their first day was last wednesday (actually last monday for those who were not ditching class to hang with mickey mouse)

Denae's in 2nd grade this year and Nathan started Kindergarten. crazy and I didn't really cry, was teary eyed after I left the cafeteria (paid for lunches for the next several weeks) that's when it hit me. Then I enjoyed bringing only Lincoln to our playgroup/parenting discussion while Jayden went with Aaron to get their hair cut (both look super cute BTW!)

getting ready to go!

Nathan by the cubbies in his classroom

First Horseback riding lesson!!!

2008-08-22T12:30:00.000-07:00

and OMG she LOVED it! has been talking about it since then, can't wait to go again.

She did really good, wasn't afraid in the least. Enjoyed brushing the horses hair and getting ready to ride. She had never been on a horse, didn't know how sensitive they can be if you pull on the reins or squeeze/kick. I'm pretty sure she will figure it out though, the horse started trotting really quickly about halfway thru the lesson and my baby fell right off! It scared me (and Aaron and Erin!) but she was okay, a litle dirty and said her back hurt a bit but she got right back on! She's a trooper and was determined to ride that horse again.

added a video:

Here's a few (ok, more than a few) pics I wanted to share

Denae and Dixon

Nathan watching

and Jayden looking at horses

Lincoln too!

Nathan,(Dixon), Denae, Erin, Aaron, Lincoln and Jayden :-)

A day in my life by Princess Denae Daniella

2008-08-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

hi it's Denae to day i got a hair cut with my moms best friend Erin we had nice time today. We went to go eat at taco bell.Then we went to walgrens to pick up Erin picurs.And we bot some thigs.Then we went to Erins ancles house and saw horses and we rode on a golf cart.And we got my hair cut.Went to get ice cream.Went home and had a great day.Me and erin had fun.

After typing this Denae decided she wanted her own blog. So here it is www.DenaeDaniella.blogspot.com she does it herself, knows how to log in and publish a post. It won't be long until she figures out how to add pictures I'm sure :-)

The only thing is that I had her create it under my account because she does not have her own email address (yet). SO funny girl, figured out she can leave herself comments that say they are from Katie. (she is obsessed with comments, keeps asking people to read her blog and comment, then gets upset when they don't)

So as you can see there are comments from me that say, Denae is #1, Denae is great, etc. LOL she cracks me up but is having fun.

I love that Erin is here visiting this week

2008-08-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

That is all :-)

my birthday present!

2008-08-07T15:31:00.000-07:00

from Aaron... A bit early only cause I wanted it before next week :-)

A Beco Butterfly. I had wanted Jack but decided on this one instead (named Jacob). Now I'm kinda wishing I went with my first choice but oh well, it's still purty and comfy... that's what matters the most. I only had Lincoln in it for about 20 minutes but he was cool, didn't seem to mind that he can't have his arms out over the top like he does in other carriers. He stuck them out the sides just fine. I'll have a better idea if i love this as much as I hoped after this weekend when I use it more.

Jayden, of course, had to have a turn as well. I was able to go up and down the stairs a few times with his 36 lbs on my back without too much struggle. He kept saying WHEEE! I'll have to upload those pics from the other computer.

oh oh oh and my gypsy mama wrap came yesterday as well. I am so in love with this I could just cry. Really, it's so comfy and wonderful I almost tear up LOL. sheesh, weirdo, I know.

less than 3 more weeks...

2008-07-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

and the older two kiddos will be in school! (and from 8:30-4:30, quite a break for me)

as of this morning they are officially registered.

Aaron took some time off from work to do it all (thank you very much my love, you are the bestest)

He got their exemption notarized and all the other paperwork filled out and turned into the school.

They are super excited.

Last night we bought Nathan 15 polo shirts and 7 bottoms for, get this, $40.

I looked up the brands (French Toast, Old Navy, Gap) and they would have cost over $250 new. A nice mama on craigslist was selling her son's school clothes because he's going into first grade and they are the same size Nathan needed. Yay for good deals, I was worried about getting him clothes in time just because they have to meet the "dress code" standards which is only a handful of colors and styles accepted. Polo shirts being one of the most popular anyway, that was what Denae wore most days last year. So now we just need to get her a few things, pants mostly cause she's grown out of her other ones and new backpacks for both of them and they will be set! I had their school supply list on the counter for a few days and was honestly kinda dreading going shopping to pick them out (the kids however, were excited) BUT then I read the bolded part, duh Katie, which says school supplies will be purchased by your child's teacher. woohoo! They just ask for $35 to cover the costs. Doesn't get any easier than that.

I was a little stressed over the things that need to get done in the next two weeks but now the kids school stuff is outta the way :-) I feel much better now.

up to the crest - Pic heavy, of course ;-)

2008-07-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

sorry for not resizing them, so if they take a while to load, I apolgize...

almost 12,000 ft up to the top of the sandia mountains! It's so pretty there, we took the scenic route thru placitas rather than going down to albuquerque and coming up the other side of the mountain. we stopped several times to check stuff out! You can see the entire city of ABQ from the top :-)

about half way up the mountain:

see the cave?

arriving at the crest

goofy as always

Nathan: daring as ever (it doesn't really drop right down so I wasn't worried but still! He'd probably try to climb down the rocks if we let him

cute as ever

eating their rock candy suckers

humming birds

lets not forget the radio towers

10 years have gone by...

2008-07-25T13:14:00.000-07:00

since highschool graduation. Tonight is the reunion, we weren't able to go to Colorado for it so I'm a little bummed. When I first heard about it (via myspace) it was about a year and a half ago and I figured for sure we'd go. Never imagined we'd move out of the state. We planned on going but time has gone so quickly the last two months and Aaron has missed enough work this year already. This is the first time I've felt a little sad about living in New Mexico. Well, not really but that we can't just drop the kids off at my mom's tonight and head over to the reunion like we would have had we still lived there. Just weird I guess. Oh well, there's always the 20 year reunion hahaha. sheesh, I feel old enough as it is. Kinda funny that my dad now teaches at Northglenn High. well he will once school starts again :)

Speaking of getting older... come Septemer, Aaron and I will have been together for 11 years. That's a long time! 4 beautiful babies later we are still going strong. That makes me happy.

OH yeah and the best news is that my bestie Erin is coming to visit for a week, in a little more than a week! I so can't wait!!!!!!!

finding the wrapping love

2008-07-22T00:09:00.000-07:00

5 yards of 100% cotton muslin = $7.50 at hobby lobby

one laptop to show me how to wrap + a tall Kona from Bad Ass Coffee = crazy hyper determined to figure this out mama

I need to hem the two tails if I'm going to use it anymore cause it looks messy. The rails however are just fine as they came of the bolt. I think I can manage to sew a couple straight lines. I hope so anyway LOL.

Excuse the crappy photos, I took them myself

a not so willing Lincoln (mama, put me down so I can run!) I bribed him with a bottle

and a very cooperative Jayden in a back carry (mama, you can tie me onto your body any day)

and then on the front cause he wanted to snuggle, excuse the water spotted mirror

I was able to figure out a few different ways to wrap on the front with Lincoln and two different back carries with Jayden. No matter how I did it, their 25 and 35 lb. bodies felt weightless. I am in love, this is far more comfy than my ring sling, pouches, mei tais and soft structured carrier :-)

I have been wanting to try a beautiful wrap but they are pricey. From $40-300+ (I kid you not, they are gorgeous though at the higher end) I figured I'd do a homemade one first and see how I liked it. 5 yards seems like a lot of fabric to get caught up in and handle but I like the length to do a variety of ties. The directions I was using came from www.mamatoto.org it's a neat website, she gives instructions for no-sew carriers and patterns to make slings, mei tais, pouches, etc.

Now that I'm getting better the last couple days I am wanting a pretty wrap from www.gypsymama.com I'm hoping someone on the babywearer will be willing to trade me one for my babyhawk so I can get one without spending any money. If not, I hope to order one soon if I can decide which print/version I like the best (of course I want them all!) These are very reasonably priced IMO and are pretty well liked among babywearers especially those new to wrapping. If I can swipe a used one off the trading post that would be awesome cause they tend to be broken in and thus softer (or so I've read anyway).

I knew there was a reason I stayed away from wrapping, besides being a bit intimidating, there are some really beautiful fabrics and hundreds of brands to choose from. I just may have to sell some diapers to fund this adiction :-)

something else we found outside

2008-07-21T23:49:00.000-07:00

after it stopped raining a few nights ago Aaron caught this in the driveway!

The kids were fascinated and of course looked up a bunch of info on frogs online to learn about this particular toad. They were a little sad after we let him free. They had already caught bugs trying to get him to stick out his tongue but he was a little scared. It was fun watching him hop, hop away. The boys became frogs for the rest of the night, imitating his movements until they were ready to go to sleep :-)

so much for it not raining often in NM

2008-07-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

seriously it has rained every day for about two weeks now. Not exactly the dry hot weather one might assume we have all year round here. The storms have included a good amount of loud pouring rain as well as beautiful lightening and scary sounding thunder. We kinda look forward to it each day as it cools everything off and I can give the AC a rest for a few hours. The kids are so funny, they all bundled up in jackets yesterday to go grocery shopping. Jayden has been wearing a coat including hood around the house and outside at the slightest hint of rain. Here he is riding his bike with Elmo zipped into his coat once the rain started to slow down. Oh and underwear was the only other thing he had on his body. Yes that's a pacifier in his mouth which he found in some toys in the garage.

another find in our yard

2008-07-06T13:09:00.001-07:00

so there are lizards everywhere around here but today Denae caught one and the kids were fascinated to see it up close.

poor thing, we told her not to hold him by the tail again

Beautiful Rainbow

2008-07-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

It rarely rains in New Mexico but the couple times it has since we've lived here there have been beautiful rainbows afterwards.

These are from the other day taken from the porch and balcony

what we've found the last few days

2008-07-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

a roadrunner in our backyard

A snakeskin also in the yard

and a scorpion in the guest room! (Aaron added the stink bug so he'd have a friend LOL)

we also saw three coyotes but no picture of them

Finally!

2008-07-03T10:42:00.001-07:00

Denae and I are starting the last Spiderwick book! (number five in the series)

I think we'll buy the DVD once we are done (I just realized there is a movie)

We try and read some of the books every night (you know after the millionth elmo and pooh and Thomas story to the boys) and once we get started it's hard to stop after a chapter or two cause we both get so into it. And we're funny cause I don't want her to read any of it to herself unless she minds me re-reading it outloud to her and same thing if she falls asleep I have to make myself put the book down so we can continue to read it all together.

I love how excited she is about reading this series (and books in general, she just genuinely LOVES to read) she looks forward to it throughout the day and when the boys allow us we try to sneak in a few pages here and there.... but like I said it's similar in a way to harry potter that you just want to keep going to find out what happens :-)

Thanks Grandma! didn't realize how much we'd both enjoy this series

Lincoln and Mama

2008-07-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

I tried to edit out the peeps behind us (we were at IT'Z) using photobucket - much different than good ole photoshop LOL

from afar it doesn't look too bad heehee but my ear looks funny shaped and some of linc's hair is missing :-)

Father's Day pics

2008-07-01T15:00:00.001-07:00

finally getting around to posting some. The best thing about both Coronado State park and the Jemez Canyon dam is that they are less than 5 miles from our new home (behind the casino for those who have been here) so we can go as often as we want without it being a big trip. And of course the Rio Grande runs just east of us :-) It may even be walking distance to the rivers edge! There is just so much to see and do around here, I absolutely love it.

eating breakfast

arriving at the ruins

my oldest three

reading a sign

the ancient artwork is in this room

and the museum and giftshop here

and old school wagon

kiddos enjoying the drums

getting ready to go see some nature :-)

the princess and cactus flowers

heading down to the river

the rio is quite grande

daddy's are the best at getting out splinters and pokies

another view of the river's edge

on the Tiki Trails

Lincoln has it made

and he's passed out

then we drove over to the jemez canyon dam (over by the Tamaya Resort and golf course)

Do not cross the fence! :-)

Linc at Red Robin - handsome little man

sitting on the fish bench at Red Lobster for Dinner -- Aaron's choice :-)

want an appetizer?!?

looking at the "monsters" Jayden kept thinking we were saying that instead of Lobsters. They thought it was pretty neat until they found out daddy orderd one lol

Nate and Linc - best buddies

how he even reaches the handle I dunno (he looks so small here but really he's a tall kiddo)

the new kiddie pool :-)

2008-07-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

my dad bought the kiddos another pool while he was here visiting last week! They are loving it and must go swimming oh 10 times a day.

thanks to my wonderful husband

2008-06-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

the chipmunk is gone. I didn't end up doing anything to help besides stand there at one in the morning with my latex gloves on saying ewwww!

He also figured out what to do with the yucky water and drained it with the hose far out in the field next to our house.

Now the pool and hose are both going out with the trash and we'll have to get new ones... cause that was just nasty!!!!

my dirty little secret...

2008-06-19T00:45:00.000-07:00

so Denae and her friend are quick to google whatever they are interested in and today they wanted to watch music videos. One of their fav songs at the moment is Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects. So looking back at the search results it was lucky that youtube and aol vidoes were the first few to pop up and incidently all they clicked on because well, there was not so appropriate websites that came up. Anyway, this would be why I still have that song in my head and keep singing it. "I'll keep you my dirty little secret (dirty little secret)" that and she loves Rihanna songs, Pocket full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield and of course Maroon 5. as long as it's not miley cirus over and over again I'm cool. BUT I am already that old lady that yells turn the bass down!!! seriously, Aaron hooked up a mean subwoofer and it can probably be heard a mile away.

anyway my front room becomes dance party usa because the boys all run in when they hear the beat and get crazy. Then the girls get embarrassed cause they want to sing without anyone else watching them.

Things I need to work on this week:

2008-06-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

I say this week and ha! it's already late wed night

*getting the kids to bed earlier. My dad is coming monday to visit for the week and he goes to bed early and gets up early so having my wild monsters up past midnight probably isn't going to be very considerate. If we could all get on a better schedule it will make getting out and doing things together easier. BTW it's 11:51 pm and Denae is sitting next to me at the kitchen table playing with her paper dolls... she doesn't seem the least bit tired.

*finishing some of the many articles I've started writing over the past month. I also have so many great ideas (i think anyway) and have yet to get them down anywhere. I have a bad habit of writing a paragraph or two and even doing a little research about my topic and then never finishing them. Like the one I began tonight regarding a "natural" sunless tanner I just tried. I still have yet to submit any articles since Nov and it's starting to bother me. It's not a big amount by any means but it truly is easy money considering the amount of time I'm on the computer and how fast I can type. And every little bit adds up... not to mention the longer my content sits published the more page views it will accumulate. I know that as soon as I get one completely done I'll be motivated to submit even more. Really, it's not the actual quality of the piece that makes the money and we all know I can ramble and go on and on and on and on heehee so 400 word minimums is easy peasy!

*post pics somewhere (here hopefully!) of our weekend. I may have taken oh over 200 photos so I need to find the time to go thru them and pick out some to share. We had such a good time hiking and sightseeing and going out to eat (several times) that I want to be able to look back and have something to help remember the fun we had as a family for father's day weekend :-)

*gather and organize all the hospital and doctors bills. They depress me to a point that I don't even open them anymore when I check the mail. I am overwhelmed to say the least but I know putting this all off will only make it worse. I know this, I just have a BIG problem in life called procrastination! and when it comes to this issue, well it's easier to just not think about it all. But since my dad is coming in a few days and I want his help figuring out a plan, I need to get organized. ugh, I'd rather do dishes or laundry for that matter and I hate both of those LOL.

*get out for a walk at some point. I'm embarrassed to say we haven't been out to walk this whole week and only a couple times last week. So much for my everyday goal. Again, it's one of those things if I make an effort to get everyone ready and pumped to go... we'll be more likely to do so the next day as well. It's been pretty damn hot here though so I suppose that will be my excuse.

*OK so this one is really really awful but the dead chipmunk in the kids pool needs to go. Gross, right?!?! It's been there since yesterday and I can't so much look out a window into the backyard cause it creeps me the eff out AND no one has taken care of it. If it's still there in the morning I am going to have to get some gloves on, grab the pool net catcher thinging and fish it out.... I can't believe I may do this but like I said the man of the hosue has not (funny, the kids told him tonight at dinner yeah dad's are supposed to do icky things like that not mommy's) Aaron said can't we call someone to do it? like who, animal control? carcass removal? I don't think they would for something like that. We have so many bunny rabbits running around the yard at all times I am just glad it's not one of them. Poor thing probably wanted a drink of water (cause it's so damn hot and dry) and fell right in and drowned. It makes me sick to my tummy to think about it though and I can't imagine the kids using the pool again. See that's the thing, I have no idea what to do with the water after the dead animal is out... It's been floating in there and so it's contaminated and nasty right?!?! I don't want to just dump it in the dirt in my backyard or the rocks next to the pool.... gross but there's no way to lift the thing up even with several people helping. The sides would start to cave in and nasty icky water would spill out. jesus wtf maybe I will call someone for help LOL. another big UGH! the kids will be happy to go out there again, I have locked the backdoor and not let anyone out there for fear the baby will touch it or something. I'm surprised no coyotes have tried to get in the yard and fetch it out to eat. OMG yuck, I may throw up. and the best part is that yesterday was trash day SO wtf am I going to do with it if I get brave enough to even go out in the yard? no freakin way do I want it in my trash until next tues. and I sure as shit am not putting it in my van and driving it somewhere. I swear if I do anything, aaron will owe me big time. for real.

*Get all the laundry put away. So it's pretty much all clean just not folded or hung up (as usual) But since my dad's coming, well it would be nice to get it all out of the living room right?

***I would add all kinds of other things to my list like those I haven't accomplished since I last wrote something similar, you know like get the sewing machine down and make something (I did buy some pretty fabric, for what I dunno) but reading what I wrote just now seems like plenty enough. Besides I need to get stuff ready for Aaron's b-day on monday and the sheets clean on the guest bed for my dad and just overall cleaning this weekend so there ya go... I have no reason to be be bored. Not that I ever am out of things to keep me busy with four kids (two of whom get bathed at least twice a day lately) oh and CRAP go to the POST OFFICE Katie! Tomorrow!!!!!!

aw to be a kid again

2008-06-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

I'm a little jealous of my daughter last night as I watched her and C quickly walk up the road giggling. They are excited because it's Denae's first time to spend the night over there. They have big plans to stay up late and watch a movie until they fall asleep. C had helped Denae pack her new hannah montanna tote with extra clothes (not sure why so many as I reminded her it was just the one night and I wanted her back in the morning)

anyway, I watched them until they went inside C's huge and amazing home. I wanna stay the night there, they may even have a cook that makes breakfast LOL.

I worried that I'd have a hard time sleeping because I do as it is and with one kid not home I figured I'd be up all night. Amazingly though I did not, Aaron and I (and the boys) stayed up pretty late watching a movie we downloaded from vongo. Not sure what teh name is but the one with Will smith and his son, he gets an intern at a brokerage firm and ends up a single and homeless dad struggling like crazy to get thru the program... good movie!! anyways we kinda missed Denae but then I ended up sleeping fine. I think just knowing I could see her friends house from my balcony off our bedroom helped. If I needed her or she needed us we were right across the road. I really wonder how I am going to manage the kids teenage years when they can come and go as they please, staying with friends, going out at night and such. I may be a mess LOL but as long as I raise them right I suppose they will make decent choices (for the most part anyway). Lets hope by then all cell phones have GPS trackers and I can find them easily if I get paranoid heehee. That includes their vehicles too, must have satelites keeping tabs on them as well. How else will I be able to keep track of four (or more) kids?!?!? Which reminds me, I was more okay with Denae spending the night than Aaron was, he thinks at 7 she's too young... well it's the next day and she did just fine thank you very much. in fact she's back over there again now!

reduce, reuse and above all... RECYCLE!!!

2008-06-17T10:37:00.000-07:00

I love trash day, it sounds silly and I'm not sure exactly why but it motivates me to get organized and clean the house up a bit more. Maybe cause they haul away everything we accumulated for the week. I dunno. The kids love it cause they can watch the trash guys dump the bins. Today I am proud to say that our trash can is not even filled to the top. Our recycling bin however, is filled to the brim. I love that everyone is on board regarding recycling everything we possibly can. If you finish the box of cereal, well you break down the cardboard and take it out to the green bin. Same with soda cans and milk jugs and aluminum foil and etc, etc, etc. It's not that hard, Jayden even knows what can and can't be recycled. And he LOVES to take the cans out at the end of the day. He's so funny and he gets a stool so he can reach teh top of the bin. Anyway, I am embarrassed when I think of all the years we did not recycle and we probably made a bag of trash PER DAY. That is disgusting to me and I just wish that we hadn't been so lazy and inconsiderate. I mean, yeah living in an apartment where we took everything to the dumpsters as opposed to a trash company coming to pick it up could be my excuse but come on, I'm sure they come to apartments if you call and set it up, or maybe you get a seperate trash can and put it in the closet or on the balcony and drive it to a recycling center each week. It isn't that much of an effort and worth it for sure. Everyone around here recycles and it's just what is expected, it doesn't cost any more per month and even if it was a few extra bucks... again, it's worth it for our earth and our children and our children's children. If I ever saw a house in my neighborhood who didn't have their green recylcing bin out on trash day I would feel judgemental and annoyed with them, but so far that hasn't been my experience. Like I said, it's just what everyone here does. That would be one of the many reason's I feel New Mexico (or at least our city) is more progressive than Colorado was. Sure, many people there recycle but it's probably true that more don't. and that's sad. I for one do think about my family's "footprint" and how it impacts the rest of the world.

baby's first artichoke

2008-06-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

He loved it, which really is too bad because we all like artichokes so it means less for the rest of us :-)

7 yr old girls

2008-06-12T11:03:00.000-07:00

are so funny and full of DRAMA!! Denae and her best friend got in a argument the day before yesterday and decided they were no longer friends. They said they hate each other and didn't want to play together anymore. OF course like the times before they forgive and forget because they are happily playing together in the backyard again. Her house BTW is amazing. It's right across from ours (well up the hill because the lot directly across from us is empty thus far) anyway they have an amazing gourmet/chef's kitchen with an 8 burner stove, two ovens, etc. Among other things they have a movie theatre with a projection screen and a big popcorn maker with wheels and everything. Definitely the cool place to be, much more exciting than our house.

anyway, as most days, C was ringing our door bell early this morning to play. Hoping they make it until afternoon before deciding they don't want to be friends again. little girls are so silly and get upset over the smallest things. I can only imagine what middle and high school will be like... sheesh! boys are so different so in that respect I guess I'm happy I have three of them.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

2008-06-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

my kids love to sleep in the same room. Despite finally having enough space for everyone to have their own bedroom, they almost always end up together. The other night Denae said, "hey you guys can sleep in my guest room" aka her closet. So they brought some pillows and blankets and passed out. Funny kids.

Dinner downtown

2008-06-12T09:28:00.001-07:00

we had a wonderful time going out to eat (and drink!) with Aaron's cousin and his wife the other night. We went to a pub+grill in downtown ABQ and visited for a couple hours before heading over to the concert. That's all I'll say about that night... but for sure I want to hang out with them again soon. Hoping to go check out a casino or two :-) The kids did really good, we had two babysitters for the night. Yep, two and they were awesome. Four kids can be a challenge so I felt more comfy this way so it worked out well.

my big boys

2008-06-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

speaking of them growing up quickly, Lincoln now weighs 25 lbs and Jayden 35 lbs!! crazy, cause that just seems huge. I guess though that's what happens when it's been months since they've been weighed. we don't own a scale (I keep meaning to pick one up lol) I would've guessed Linc to be 20 ish pounds but he's a solid boy! Aaron jokes about weighing him on the produce scales when we are grocery shoppin but dang, he'd break the thing.

oh and I took the kids shopping at the dollar tree after our appointment Lincoln fell asleep in the pouch sling. It was really sweet because it's been a loooong time since he's slept while in a carrier. He's so active now and only naps once a day but we happened to be out and about during nap time. People kept commenting on how cute he was zonked out against my chest. I wish I had brought my babyhawk, it would have been more comfy for me and I have yet to use it in public but because of our appt. I needed something that I could get him in and out of frequently. Surprisingly though, the sling was comfy even with my big guy! I bought it at target of all places :-)

So I love the Dollar Tree. really LOVE it. Which is funny because I wouldn't set foot in any other dollar or 99 cent store lol. My mom had never been to a Dollar Tree and when she was out here the first time I took her and we bought things like wine glasses (they are pretty too with pink in the stem) and waste baskets for the bathrooms. I think she liked it and was surprised at the quality of some of their items. It's definitely hit or miss and some things I'm like they want a buck for that? while other's I think are a great deal. We go there often because the kids get allowance and it's easier to spend their money there being as how everything costs a dollar. Even Jayden can figure out what he can afford.

We got a bunch of "wallies" or wall stickers. You know, the ones that you can put up that don't peel the paint off? The kids love them! Yesterday we found some pretty butterflies and ABC's as well as whales. They haven't finished decorating with them but some we got last time I got a few pics of. It's good for us because we still haven't put up any pictures or otherwise in our new home. I say new but we're going on 6 months here now!! But the wall stickers are fun because they can take them down and change things up. We've had dinosaurs, skateboards/bikes, sports stuff like baseballs and footballs, fairies, sea shells, zoo animals, flowers, I'm trying to think of what else. One day I took a few pics, I should do so again because they peel them down and move them around. But for a dollar a set, it's fun for them to "decorate" their walls.

so this is love

2008-06-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

he needs to quit growing so quickly...

oh yeah...

2008-06-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

speaking of the excitement of ABQ we're going to rock out tonight at The Sunshine Theatre and see Sevendust and Bloodsimple perform. I think Aaron can't wait to hear super loud music, I'm just ready for a night out including dinner and a few drinks :-) woohoo

I love Albuquerque

2008-06-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

I do love the bigger city but am happy we live in Rio Rancho. I wouldn't mind ABQ if we didn't have little kids or if they were homeschooled. It's busy and exciting there, always something going on and super diverse compared to our little hood. There is a huge difference when driving down Rio Ranch Blvd than say oh any main street in ABQ. Anyway, I love where we live. It's the perfect size for me and I like that even during rush hour there really isn't bad traffic. We do enjoy visiting albuquerque on the weekends and spent both sat and sun evening there.

Linc and I outside of Texas Roudhouse

Nate and Linc

and the goofballs

such a big boy drinking out of a straw

The Green Guide to personal care products

2008-06-09T21:50:00.001-07:00

Both articles are fairly informative, explaining why some are wary of chemicals in sunscreen and shampoo/soaps/lotions/deodorants/etc (skin and hair care items)

The Dirty Dozen Ingredients In Personal Care Products

"In pursuit of cleanliness and beauty, we buy approximately $20 billion worth of personal care products every year. Unfortunately, many ingredients in these potions and lotions have the opposite effect on the planet—and some of them are linked to damaging effects on human health. And unlike the pharmaceutical industry, the government does not require safety testing for these products before they go to market."

(for the rest of the article...)

Screen Test: Reading the Micro-Fine Print

really what's more harmful: chemicals in your sunscreen or sun exposure? that's what I wanted to find out.

includes recommended brands

also a bit from mercola regarding sun exposure and sunscreen

oh and that reminds me of this site:

skindeep database. Enter your favorite lotion or cosmetic or baby skin care product and see how toxic it really is. I found this to be a helpful tool :-)

BabyHawk Sale!!

2008-06-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

I stayed up really late last night playing with the design your own babyhawk tool on their page and I still can't decide on two fabrics. I like so many of them, it's hard to pick. I'm pretty sure I want charcoal straps, or black lol. ugh. So many pretty prints, and combo's you can come up with. I am thinking red dragonflies for one side, but keep changing my mind about the other.

I really want to take advantage of their sale that goes thru sunday at midnight. Babyhawk turns three this month so if you enter the promotional code WEARETHREE at check-out you get 15% off your entire order. It's a great deal IMO, I wish I had money to get more than one. Luckily they tend to offer sales every few months so maybe I'll get the next one.

precious

2008-05-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

last minute road trip

2008-05-30T07:45:00.001-07:00

we drove to Carlsbad, NM last night. Far NE corner of the state, 5 hrs each way so with stops it took a little more than 12 hrs. We drove thru Roswell twice, which I actually liked BTW. Didn't see any UFO's though. darn. or aliens for that matter but it was nice to see what Artesia and the other small towns in that part of the state (aka BFE, the middle of no-freakin-where, where people don't plan to spend their life... they just sorta end up there. stuck I guess) hehe ok that sounds awful but I am grumpy and exhausted from staying up all damn night. No but the area of NM we explored was very different than more populated cities such as Albuquerque and Sante Fe. Not much to see, flat land with a bunch of grass and cows everywhere. Hundreds of miles of NOTHING, it all looks exactly the same too. Until you get to a tiny little run down town where most buildings are boarded up and it looks like a ghost town except the mobile homes with lights on scattered around.

Now Carlsbad is not a super small town like I mentioned, it has a est. pop of 25,000 I'm guessing where Roswell has double that (similar to Rio Rancho which has 50-70,000 people and growing like crazy) for comparison Albuquerque has half a million residents same as the city of Denver. But my point is that along the way to these "bigger" cities in that corner of the state there were these little towns that sorta freaked me out. I love the size of our city, you can't go to the store without running into someone from D's school so I imagine if we actually knew more people here we'd see even more familiar faces when out and about. But it's not super tiny like 8,000 people or sheesh even 50 like I would guess these run-down abandoned looking places must have.

So funny but I just guessed on all those pop. figures above but a quick google search tells me I was right on pretty much. (I'm not psychic but did research all sorts of area of the state when we decided to move here)

Here is what wiki said about RR: In 2006 Rio Rancho had 71,000 people with an estimated growth of 125,000 by 2010

HOLY crap that's a lot of people for my new little city! That would be why there are a ton of houses being built every day and new businesses popping up all over. As long as nothing gets built to block our view of the sandia mountains, I don't mind the growth.

SO anyway the kids are crazy wild today after being couped up in the car all night long. We went to deliver some postcards to a client who's client needed them by 7 am. They missed the deadline to get them there by plane yesterday afternoon so my hard working, over-acheiving husband offered to drive them there. Thinking it would be fun to have time to visit with him and get out of the house I agreed to go (and of course this meant taking four small children). oh man!! no actually it wasn't that bad. The kids slept all night once it got dark and we did get a chance to chat and listen to the one freakin Nickelback CD we had in the car (not much radio stations down that way and for some reason we remembered diapers and extra clothes for the kids but no tunes. The drive back was what sucked. Mostly because we were tired of being in the car. oh and we were just plain tired. makes sense, can't wait to sleep good tonight.

I really, really wanted Aaron to take a three day weekend so we could go check out the caves in Carlsbad and maybe go to El Paso just cause it intrigues me and I've never been to Texas. But alas, there's too much work to be done in the shop being fri and the last business day of the month so it was a no go. Plus the fact that all his paid days off have been used up. well, he does get a bonus week in Aug but that's for Disney world.

We did see a bunch of trains which the kids loved

and the sun set

and the sun rise lol

really hard to get any pics of hot air balloons in Albuquerque when crusing on the highway

pretty damn exciting. riiiight. :D

getting back to normal

2008-05-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

feels like it anyhow because yesterday we resumed our daily walk. only now it's late afternoon instead of morning and Denae goes with us :) good cause she pushed the lil ones yesterday with Nathan's help and today all by herself.

It's nice to get exercise again and enjoy the nice weather!

dang sand blowing!

it's been more than 24 hrs...

2008-05-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

I'm patiently waiting the ID doc to call me back with my blood results. Should be anytime now, and he's leaving on vacation tomorrow so I'm antsy. When the lab lady (phlebotomist?) called me back yesterday morning she was like, "oh hello, this is becoming a habit now isn't it?" with a smirky grin on her face. I was like wtf? yeah cause I love the feeling of coming in and getting poked so you can suck my blood out. I told Denae that she was like, "OMG she sucked your blood out?" lol "not with her mouth silly but the tube thing."

no but I told her yeah hopefully this is my last time lady. I don't want to ever come back to this place!!

Linc love's his Papa

2008-05-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

sunday

2008-05-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

we stayed in Rio Rancho but went out to eat at Chili's (and my babies were angels for the almost two hours we were there, so proud) we stuffed ourselves again mmm I LOVE lettuce wraps and shared two of the volcano desserts -white and milk chocolate. I also had my first Margarita in a long time. It was a frozen strawberry one but oh so yummy!

Then we went shopping to get food to BBQ for Memorial Day. The kids got to pick out a few things with their own money. Well, Nathan is a saver and had three weeks of allowance to spend. Denae had some allowance left from last week, an IOU for this week LOL and five dollars from the tooth fairy. She is pretty good at adding up the things she wants and making sure she had enough. Nathan, not so much and he fell in love with this Diego rescue toy thing which was 28.99 almost twice as much as he had. We decided if they would share and were good for the rest of the shopping trip mom and dad would cover the difference. He didn't care for anything else, Denae puts stuff back and trades them constantly. Up until we check out lol. She was so sweet though cause she kept wanting to buy stuff for everyone else. She went to find Juno and said she was going to buy it for me with her money. I told her no thanks baby mommy only likes to watch most movies one time. I don't want to buy it (we had just watched it together two nights before) but that's how she is, wanted to buy special heavy duty folders to do "work" this summer and had to get enough for her brothers to have their own too. She also ended up with high school musical stuff like hair ties, barrettes and magnets and stickers. Jayden (who we honestly haven't given allowance yet too) was so good and wanted to get something too so he picked out a Diego art pack with markers, crayons and a paint set. It included brushes and special paper too. Sister taught him how to paint last night. They have been having a blast with it today as well.

uh yeah, painting outside is so much better

same cute smile

umm it's so not finger paint yo

not sure why but mama wouldn't let me paint

fun at IT'z

2008-05-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

oh man did the kids have a blast, we went to It'z (a fun place, better than chuck e cheese but not as classy as Jillian's)

We stuffed ourselves full at the pizza/pasta/salad/dessert Buffet and then went to have some fun!

The kids rode on The Spinelli with Aaron (which went super high and fast spinning all around) and Jayden enjoyed it so much! He wasn't afraid in the least, such a big boy now. wish I had a photo of the four of them on it.

Nathan loved the bumper cars the most and everyone (but papa) really liked the train roller coaster.

There is a toddler sized area too, Lincoln got to run around and had so much fun being like the big kids.

Oh man, they even have a kid-friendly bowling alley with small bowling balls (too cute!)

We were impressed and will go to It'z again soon! It really wasn't much more than we spend at chuck e cheese and the food/atmosphere/games/rides/etc are so much cooler. It's twice the distace that CEC is from us but it gives us an excuse to go into Albuquerque.

Definitely our "Sunday Family FunDay!" that we strive for (ok so it was sat but still)

No picture's other than these of Aaron and I. Tried to sit on his lap and just get us two but who watches four wild kids when you are supposed to close the curtains? Denae sneaked in for one and then Jayden tried to jump high enough in the last one to get in the pic LOL. and wtf is up with my hair? it was braided but looks silly here.

I did finally get a new camera yesterday (super deal BTW on a kodak) so now I can post pics of my cute kiddos again.

oh and we hit up the coronodo mall there in ABQ and got some summer clothes for Denae. Mervyns had them all 70% off so we got "hooked up" -Denae's words when we left :-)

things are good, really they are :-)

2008-05-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

well sheesh re-reading what i wrote the other day I sound so negative. Really I am glad the docs are being cautious and doing what they can to make sure I am 100% better before letting me go. I just wish it was sooner than later ya know?

Things are getting back to normal. At least I am feeling better physically and mentally. The other night (and again last night) I found myself thinking I am the luckiest girl in the world. While I was washing out baby bottles and preparing them for the nanny the next day nonetheless but still. I felt that wonderful feeling I have had since our lives changed so drastically and we moved to New Mexico. Just that after I got sick I didn't feel so lucky obviously and have just been sorta out of it trying to recover. I have felt extremly grateful and thankful for all that my family and friends have done to help out during all this. In fact I haven't even begin to comprehend it all but I just know I am amazed by how much love and support we have, even being in a whole other state. I can only imagine how it would have been had this happened last year before we moved. we would have been surrounded by even more people who wanted to help out, which is crazy because like I said we have had an amazing amount of caring people be here for our family. But just being home with the kids and Aaron, I am feeling that elated happy feeling again. Like things just couldn't get any better.

So on another note I have started to give Lincoln baby formula LOL sounds funny but it's the next step kind for ages 9-24 months. Some would say it's a waste of money, a scam from the evil (yes they may be a little bit lol) formula companies. However I just am not comfy with either soy or rice milk being such a staple in his diet right now. I mean he actually eats better than any of the other kids in reality but having that back-up or reassurance that he's getting adequate nutrients is making me feel better. I strongly believe babies have a "birthright" -call me a crazy lactivist- to be breastfed for at least the first two years. Cow's milk or any other kind does not even come close to being as ideal as human milk. and during the first two years the fatty milk and all the good stuff is so important. Even with an outstanding diet (which that he does not have, none of us do) breastmilk provides immunities and oh so much more. SO since Lincoln is unable to nurse, I am really thinking the next step formula is 2nd best. As long as his tummy can handle it, because it is the milk-based version but after almost three full days he seems to be doing fine. Keeping my fingers crossed :-)

oh my website finally has a temporary front page heehee. hey it's a start. I need to upgrade my godaddy account to get rid of the ads though, that's not cool. when i have actual content on it I'll do that fo sho. www.enchantedparenting.com is coming soon!!!

oh today...

2008-05-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

fairly good news regarding my doctors appt today. My lab tests from thursday were in and my numbers were all really low. Like within normal range! I'm also not anemic anymore and have gained two pounds. Woo-hoo right? except that I was expecting him to say okay you're all better stop taking those nasty antibiotics. But instead he didn't seem convinced that the infection was 100% gone. He said it's very possible to have pocket somewhere in my abdomen where there's an active infection and the abx aren't reaching it. He said he's strongly considering having me get another CT scan for a better idea. SO I'm not done going there and have almost two full weeks left of keflex to take. FUN!

Tues morning I will have more blood drawn and we'll go from there. The ID doc said what could happen is that whenever I finally am done with or stop taking my antibiotics that 1-2 weeks later I could get a fever and feel sick again and it would start all over. ugh, god that would suck so bad. It almost seems like if we are missing part of the infection (but wouldn't my numbers be high again?) that regardless of when I stop taking abx it will come back stronger again. So am I just delaying it another two weeks and then I'll be sick again? WTF, I don't get it. I'm not sure when they'll be content with my lab work and just discharge me already. Because it seems like no matter what it's sorta a wait and see approach just like so many other things in medicine. If that's the case maybe I should get enough antibiotics until my new insurance plan kicks in (two months from now) because at least then I wouldn't be so screwed right?

Speaking of that, this was the second time I left that office in tears. I mean they are nice to me there, they are. Most of the staff knows me by now, they recognize me. There's the young girl (ok I'm old but every other patient there is 70+ I swear) the girl who keeps having to come back, oh and she's the one who's 'self-pay' only wait she doesn't have nearly enough money to pay us by herself. The one they won't let leave until I talk to the billing office. The people who try to be understanding but of course their job is to make sure they collect money when it's owed. I was just frustrated because no I can't pay you a kazillion dollars and yes I need to schedule more appointments because I may not be all better yet. I was just grumpy because I hadn't ate anything yet today when I went and had to wait 45 minutes until the dr could see me. During that time I opened my mail, which consisted of a bunch of bills of course. honestly some I didn't even open. But lucky me the big one (or is it just one of many?) finally came. the one that includes all the days of care and the pharmacy charges and such (morphine must be damn expensive). That saved me the trouble of driving to the hospital to get a print-out which I was going to do until the billing office from there called while I was at the Dr's appt and left a not so pleasant message.

So I was afraid to go and talk to anyone else we owe money to so I didn't head that way when I left. Probably better because I got a parking ticket since I was in a hurry and didn't see the permit only sign. That place sucks to find anywhere within walking distance to park anyway.

So then I drove thru downtown Albuquerque listing to tupac LOL. I love both, tupac and downtown abq. well I did until the navigation system started sending me in circles. It kept re-routing, there must be an area where satellites don't reach it right or something because it was so frustrating. Then with all that stop and go my stupid PITA car started to overheat. That was fun because I had to blast the heater on and open all the windows to take heat off the engine. Fun times because it's 92 degrees today in the land of enchantment. I was so hot and irritated. I wanted to meet Aaron for lunch but had to stop and wait for the car to cool off because it started smoking and green coolant was bubbling out of the hood. LOVELY! I did eventually end up at Aaron's work but was tired and hot by then. stupid car, we need to take it in to get fixed obviously but I just wish we could trade it in for something else. I did love it but right now I am hating it!!!

One good thing today was that I opened a new checking/saving account at the Bank of America which they have all over the place here. We have compass and it sucks. not only do they suck but they only have one location in Rio rancho and maybe 3 in albuquerque. Not near as convenient or with as many perks as the new bank. That I am happy for :-) That and tomorrow is Denae's last day of school until August! Yay. and I'm getting my haircut

my funny kiddos

2008-05-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

so many posts today, man I'm bored I guess!

but I just thought of this because I saw Nathan drinking some water out in the front yard.

we tend to buy bottled water just because we have well water and the public water may not be the safest either. We've drank tap water and that from the fridge plenty of times but it just makes me feel better (besides the many plastic bottles but we always always recycle those!)

so while I was sick and the day before I went to the ER, I didn't have the stength to open them to take a drink. I was drinking quite a bit but would throw it up soon after. anyhow, when Aaron was at work and I needed some water Nathan wasn't able to open the bottles either. But being the creative little guy he is he got a fork and poked a hole in the top of the water bottle so I could drink from it that way. I remember he was so proud the first couple water bottles he brought up to my room that day. Well usually I was able to open it after that, maybe the pressure wasn't so bad becase of the hole. maybe it was the frustration of not getting much out if I tried to suck it LOL. anway Nathan now has been doing that with each water bottle he gets to drink. so funny, I think by now he's figured out how to open them and obviously I can now for him but it's so much cooler to poke a hole in the cap and drink it that way. Jayden begs him to do it to his too and somehow they made a straw fit into his LOL. oh the things that entertain me lately and make me smile :)

Some things I want to get done

2008-05-16T11:22:00.001-07:00

now that things are sorta getting back to normal and I am starting to feel so much better, I want to do the things I haven't been able to.

in no particular order:

start writing again for AC. I hope to do this next week. I love getting the monthly page view bonus money but even better would be to get the upfront payments as well. Plus it's an outlet and I enjoy it. That dang red 40 article now has over 20k page views so I need to come up with something like that again LOL.

learn how to use my new sewing machine. I just need some fabric and somewhere to set it up and I think I can figure it out. Doesn't look too complicated. Not sure what I'll make but I'm sure I can come up with something fun.

volunteer at the wic office that is just up the road. I'd love to be a breastfeeding counselor and talked to a lady in the same building for a long time the other day. She doesn't work for wic but was impressed by my knowlege and experience with nursing and wants me to talk to the nutritionist there. oh and here in Rio Rancho, spanish is not required LOL. I don't mean that in a good or bad way it's just different than every wic office I've even been to in CO. Not sure how I could do this with the kids but they have a child development center at the same place with a bunch of toys and activities. ha, or maybe the nanny will want to come back every once in a while.

work on my website. I haven't even started it though I have a bunch of ideas. it's www.enchantedparenting.com and someday will be a helpful resource for parents in New Mexico (the land of enchantment). I want to include a lot of info and links about schools, childcare, hospitals, pediatricians, parks, midwives/OB's, doulas, parenting/mom's groups, dentists,libraries, different areas to live in the state, etc, etc, the list goes on forever. All the things I have been looking for (and then some!) the past six months but I definitely didn't find them all in one place. SO it will take some time and of course I am still looking/learning. I need to be a bit more healthy before really jumping into this because I want to get out and go to places, talk to people (just RR and ABQ though not the entire state, because it's the most populated and will be my focus) so it will be a while. Luckily Aaron can help me with the actual site design and all the logistics of running it but the information I am confident I can gather over time.

hang up pictures, maybe decorate a bit here. sheesh, it's been almost more than four months now. No pics besides brian's ABQ photo and a pic of ashlyn I framed. This will include wedding pictures (finally, right?) and our recent family pics from www.briankraft.com oh oh oh and the pics of me pregnant with Linc for sure. SO I probably won't hang them myself but can boss aaron around enough so he puts them all where I want them.

so that's a start, I have a lot of other things on my list, many that are small silly things but those I have put off anyway. Hopefully I feel strong enough (and motivated) to get some stuff done soon!!!

Just because I need to complain for a min...

2008-05-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

sneezing is the worst thing ever! worse than coughing or laughing. HORRIBLE. I've tried scratching my arm to deter the sneeze when I feel it coming on but it doesn't always work. And it's not so much that it hurts my incision (though it does but I can sorta brace my tummy) but my lungs OMG it kills my chest. I can't wait to be able to breathe normal again and not have this issue!

ok, done complaining for now :-)

Denae and Lincoln

2008-05-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Denae has a Hawaiian themed party today at school and OMG she looked so stinkin cute today. I am kicking myself for not having my camera ready because I missed the photo op as we were hurrying to finish get the ants on a log ready and get her out the door. I ran (ok not really that would be painful) upstairs to find my camera and then we heard the bus coming down the street. I tried to snap a pic as she was running out the door but my damn camera kept turning off. ugh! anyway she was wearing this cute pink/white floral print top we bought at target and pink leggings. She had a big pink flower pinned in her hair, white oversized round sunglasses (so adorable) and a flower lei we bought in hawaii when she was a baby and we got married. I hope she has a blast today and thank goodness for cling wrap cause it made covering the celery sticks up quickly possible... so she didn't get peanut butter in her hannah montana bag cause I just tossed the two plates of them in there. That bus driver, man I bet he's glad there's only two days of school left.

This is day four of Lincoln's elimination diet. Meaning eliminating cow's milk and dairy for that matter. Since I've been out of the hospital he had been so fussy and just not the same kid. He has been pooping several times a day and it's not normal looking. He's also had a constant rash which is really odd for him. SO it finally clicked a week after being home that maybe he's intolerant to the milk as it's the biggest diet change he's had. I mean he turned one over six weeks ago and had been ok with the occasional cup/bottle of milk but he was nursing and eating food for the most part. Since he had to wean unexpectedly cow's milk has been a staple in his diet with several bottles/sippies a day of it. I really think it was messing up his tummy because now that we've done both rice milk and a bit of soy milk (yesterday) for the past week he really is so much better. His rash is almost totally gone, his bum as a couple red areas but it's nothing like it was and I bet it's 100% better by this weekend. I've also had him in cloth for the most part (the nanny has been using sposies which is fine by me, didn't want to intimidate her) but we haven't been putting cream on him. just letting his bottom breath more and the lack of acidic poopies all day has probably made the most difference. He still has been going more than once a day but not as many times and it's a better color/consistency. How's that for TMI, my kids poop LOL. But it's good news because I knew something wasn't right. The best part is that he really is not as fussy/grumpy anymore. Maybe part of it is getting used to having me home and not so many people taking care of him but really I think it's the lack of cow's milk. He is happy most of the time and doesn't cry for no reason anymore. Before I was like what the heck is wrong with him, he was just whiney and irritated a lot of the time. His gut must be feeling a lot better now.

California Baby

2008-05-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

so I love the shampoo/soap as well as sunscreen from California Baby but never tried the lotion until now. Maybe I didn't notice it at the store before but I am glad I found it. It's the only lotion I have been able to use that doesn't make me feel sick as I am super sensitive to smells/chemicals. It's perfect for Jayden's dry skin too, he doesn't do so well with fragrance either and almost all mainstream lotions have that (and more).

It's the Super Sensitive everyday lotion for face and body.

no fragrance
no parabens
no chemicals
no sodium benzoate
no benzoic acid
no benzyl alcohol
no phenoxy ethanol
no formaldahyde
no nut oils
no gluten
no soy
no oat
no dairy

so I don't know what a couple of those above are but they sound bad lol so I'm glad this lotion does not contain them.

really though it says for those who are chemically sensitive (me) and those with impaired immunity (huh.) as well as allergies and asthma.

I wish I had tried this when Jayden's eczema was so awful, I bet it would have helped.

This lotion (as all california baby products) is pricey but I'm thinking it's totally worth the extra money. I can use it without having a hard time breathing and a horrible headache. New Mexico is DRY so my poor skin needs something. This and the vitamin E oil my brother got me will make me nice and soft :)

----------------------------------------------

that's pretty much the most exciting thing going on, new lotion and new bras. haha. The kids really like the "nanny" and after a full day with the three boys she agreed to come back tomorrow!!! woohoo. I'm kidding really, they were super well behaved and I was impressed by how she took care of them and the house. I'm just glad she's a good fit and am very grateful to have the help for the next couple weeks. I wasn't sure how it would go but they listened really well and everyone got along.

Tomorrow I have two Dr appts. One with the surgeon group (luckily it's his PA Darcy who will see me, she's really nice) and then the infectious disease docs for some more blood work. Then I go back to see the actual ID doc monday. I really hope this is the last of it, though I just today picked up a new round of abx to start friday. I think they are messing me up, I do eat plenty of Activa yogurt but I am so sick of taking them.

2008-05-12T20:41:00.001-07:00

My wonderful Family

2008-05-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

My family has been so extremly helpful the past month since I got sick and I can't thank them enough.

Between my mom, my dad, Erin my BFF, Aaron's mom Sylvia, my sister-in-law Jennifer, Aaron's Dad, my brother Matt, my sister Liz and again my mom and dad who have been out here twice we have had help since I was admitted to the hospital until last night (a week after I got to go home)

They cared for our children, took care of the house, visited me in the hospital (as well as provide nursing care many times), research my illness including communicating with other infectious disease docs on the other side of the country, checked out the backrounds of my Doctors ;-), filled out paperwork and helped me figure out the financial aspects of this ordeal, these people also bought groceries and other necessities for our family, cooked yummy meals, done an insane amount of laundry, changed many a diapers LOL... the list goes on and on.

I am forever grateful for everything they have done as well as all the support and love from other famiy and friends. Every thought and prayer or comment or message or phone call has been immensly helpful and appreicated.

my family has taken off so much time this past month from their own busy lives and jobs to be here for us and I am blown away just thinking about all they have done.

My brother Matt has done so much for me and has now organized a fundraiser called Katie's Recovery to help pay for a nanny to care for the children for the next couple weeks. Aaron has to get back to work full-time as much as I know he loves taking care of us and being home, it's just not possible :-) Just today, since Matt sent out an email he has raised $500. A good portion of that came from my generous friends on colorado moms and I hope they know how much I appreciate all they have done for my family. It amazes me just thinking about how much people even far away in another state... care about us.

I am getting better, each day is better in fact. I just am not able to drive yet or do things such as pick up the baby. I also have several doctors appts and blood tests coming up and am hoping more than anything they will tell me I'm all better. I'm healing from the abdominal surgery, I feel stronger as time goes by for sure. I am still on some heavy duty meds including antibiotics and pain pills so as much as I wish I could get back to being a full-time mama it's just not possible yet. I think the hardest part of this whole thing has been being away from my beautiful babies for such a long time. This from someone who has a hard enough time being away from them overnight when they have stayed with Grandma. I am in tears now thinking about what I missed and how uninvolved I have been with my children and my family the past month but I do know in my heart it's the way things had to be. I mean I don't know how or why I got sick but it happened and I can only reflect on all the love and support we have had and take the good from it all.

My Mother's Day Flowers

2008-05-10T12:34:00.000-07:00

These were sent from my dear friends Jen and Jenny. They had sent me flowers too while I was in the hospital but wanted me to have these for Mother's Day with a very sweet note saying they are glad I'm home with my babies now. Just wanted to share cause they are amazing friends and have been so worried about me and have always been very supportive of me and my family. Jen is coming out for a visit next month with Clarke and Donovan and Jenny will hopefully make it here sometime this summer! Can't wait to see both of them, I miss them a ton.

cute kids in the pool

2008-05-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

My dad bought the kids a little pool yesterday and they were so excited to finally get in it! So creative, they pulled the little tykes slide over next to it so they could go down and land in the water. It was a little cold though so they didn't last very long, but today the sun is shining bright so hopefully the water will warm up.

My sister has been here the past few days taking care of everyone. She is doing a great job, I'm sure she's exhausted and I really hope she still wants kids of her own after this is over LOL. She has been cooking really good food for us too, we are getting spoiled that's for sure.

My dad is here too now to help so the kids are enjoying both their auntie and their "bompa" grandpa. We will be sad when they have to leave as they have been such wonderful help and I am so grateful they came out here to take care of my family.

We are looking for someone to help part-time with the kids starting as soon as next week. Possibly with housework too or we might just resort to a cleaning company once a week to mop and such to help me out. I just posted an ad on craigslist here, so cross your fingers someone qualified responds and we find some help!!
My brother has started a fund for this purpose as we don't have the money to hire help so I am very grateful for generous family memebers who are making this possible. Aaron has used up all his vacation time and then some plus he has a lot of work to do from being out so long so taking more time off is just not a possiblity. Well, in reality he does have to take a bit more time off to drive me to and from my doctors appts but hopefully they will work with him on that.

Speaking of Dr's they called back with my lab results and my WBC and platelets have gone down since leaving the hospital so that's a good sign. That said they still aren't in normal range and the ID doc seemed a bit concerned and wants me back next week and then a few days after that as well for more blood draws and an exam. He also called in more stinkin antibiotics and wants me to take them even longer as he's not sure if the infection is still active at this point. It's frustrating cause I just wish he would have said, it's over you're all better, go on with your life. Instead he wants to follow me closely and said if you have any stomach pain, fever, vomitting etc head to the closest ER. No one knows yet if I'm better, I'm sure myself that I'm getting better but whether or not my body has fought off this infection is something we just don't know at this point.

Today's Appointment

2008-05-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Nothing really exciting, have to wait for the lab results before we know anything. Saw a new infectious disease doc today, one I hadn't met at the hospital and he was nice and up to speed on my condition.

He did say I may need yet another CT scan depending on the results of my blood work to see if there was an active infection in my abdomen. I really hope not, just want to keep taking my meds and get better.

I think it's just a difference in scales but at the docs office I weighed 108 which is several pounds less than what I weighed at the hospital before discharge. One was digital and one was old school so I'm betting that's why. I think if anything I should have gained weight. I guess I need to buy a scale for home, would be nice to know.

Saw Dr. Chong briefly in the hallway who asked right away how Lincoln was, he really liked him.

I was the only one in the waiting room under the age of 70. seriously, felt like everyone was loking at me like I didn't belong.

So the visit was somewhat uneventful, won't know what's going on or when I have to go back until the lab results come back.

Had a break down in the billing office because I didn't realize how high the bill was just for that Doc group. I'm just emotional and stressed anyway so that makes me much more sensitive. I mean we got a bill yesterday but today's balance was another thousand higher so just unexpected. They are working with us though and I'm still thinking optimistically about all the financial crap...

some pictures

2008-05-06T15:11:00.000-07:00

not of me ha, but the kids. I feel like it's been forever since I put any pics on my blog and before that's mostly what it consisted of so now some from the other night.

The kids are really getting big it seems. I know I only missed three weeks but it still feels like they grew up over that time.

Lincoln is just huge and running all over. Trying hard to talk, the other night he said "thank you" I swear. and my mom heard it too. He seems the least bothered by my absense, which kind of bothers me. I'm glad he was ok with other's taking care of him but I wish he'd come up to me and cry for me to hold him or pick him up but he's too busy being a big boy and seems to hardly notice me.

Jayden, SO independant now. Riding his bike all over and talking a mile a minute. The amazing thing is that from the first night I was in the ER until now he has slept entirely thru the night. I'm not kidding and I was sure that he'd be crying for mommy and histerical since he has woken up every single night for the past three years and 9/10 nights he sleeps between Aaron and I. But to my shock, he's slept in his own bed and all. night. long. for the past three weeks. So forget whatever I said before obviously the problem was me LOL. I'm really not joking about that. So now all the kids sleep thru the night, how wonderful will that be once I am not up in pain and wet with sweat multiple times. I am looking forward to getting a full night of sleep in the near future.

Nathan has probably had the hardest time adjusting without me and with various caregivers. He's doing better though the last few days since I've been home but still need a lot of attention and something to do at all times or he gets in to trouble or is picking on poor Jayden. He has learned to ride his bike without training wheels and zips around like a pro.

Denae just seems more mature. I'm so proud of how she has helped take care of everyone while mama was not here. She had a hard time occasionally leaving me in the hospital but got over it and enjoyed helping whoever was here find things and take care of her little brothers. She did really well in school and has been very independant in getting ready in the mornings and showering and such. She is also riding her bike without training wheels, something she was barely mastering before I got sick.

Oh and I am happy the swingset finally got fixed while I wasn't here. cemented into the ground so it's super stable and the baby swing put up for Lincoln. It's fun to watch out the window and look at either the bunnies running around the yard or the kiddos playing out there. Peaceful for sure.

my family including grandma having dinner on the back patio

weight loss

2008-05-06T14:50:00.000-07:00

so before I got sick I had really been wanting to tone up and get in shape recently which is why we bought the double jogging stroller. I have loved taking walks around the neighborhood and was hoping to feel better about my body by doing so every day with the boys and get fit by our summer vacation so I could wear a bikini.

hahaha, well... I know I still have time now to walk once I heal up and am strong enough but a big fat no on the bikini now that I have a huge scar running from my sternum to my uhh, as far down as you can go. It looks awful and while my incision is still covered with steri strips what I can see does not look pretty. It's not even a straight line, it's really jagged and goes to the side a bit. After my "exploratory laparatomy" my mom was really upset thinking they totally cut off or stapled closed my belly button but it's still here. Just doesn't look the same. I think part of it is missing and it looks really funny. oh well right? She's just happy I have some of my belly button left. said it's her connection to me and special to her, ya know because of the umbilical cord and all LOL. In the hospital Aaron was like, "don't worry about it, belly buttons are overated. You don't need it anymore now" silly man.

SO no bikini fine but I have lost close to fifteen pounds. I guess that's what not eating for over a week will do and then a liquid diet once I was able to again.

It may sound nice but it's not. most of the weight came off my top half. My ribs stick out in the front and back, my clavicle -if that's what they are called- stick out all crazy. my arms look puny and sick. My face is even thinner with my eyes looking more sunken in. I hate it. My wedding ring just slides off. I have no bras that come even close to fitting me. Between not nursing and the weight loss my boobs are just saggy skin and super small. When I feel better I'll have to shop in kids department for a damn bra. I just feel bony and icky. No muscle and a bit of fat left hanging in odd areas make me feel really really unattractive.

I sat out in the sun a while yesterday watching the boys ride their bikes and then again today on my balcony. My mom said hey if you're gonna have super skinny legs you might as well be tan too and soak up some vitamin D. I am just enjoying the fresh air and being outside after being stuck in that hospital room for so long.

My brother even tried to fatten me up when he was visiting last week. He's bring me real food and chocolate candy bars. He was sure by the end of the week I had gained weight so we were surprised when the nurses brought a scale in to my room I had lost even more weight.

My plan is to eat healthy and when I feel better build up my strength. Continue the walks with the boys and hopefully I'll get some muscle and put on a little weight in the right places so I don't look so weak and puny. Seriously, I never thought I'd complain about losing weight but this just doesn't look right at all.

Strep

2008-05-04T11:02:00.001-07:00

So Aaron and Denae both tested positive to carrying Strep in the back of their throats.

Our PCP -who's a family friend which is why he called me from home on a sunday nonetheless, is figuring out what to do.

Neither have any symptoms of strep or any other sickness. They've both been really healthy. Last week when Lincoln was sick for a couple days no one else caught it and it definitely wasn't strep. He and the other kids were negative.

I think Aaron at least will do abx for ten days just in hopes that it kills the crap. Denae most likely too, trying to figure out what exactly though. She has never in her 7 years been on antibiotics so it sucks to have to do so when she feels just fine but the hope it to erradicate strep from our family and eventually I'll be all better too. Here's hoping.

SO happy to be home

2008-05-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

I got to come home yesterday afternoon and am so grateful to be out of that dang hospital room. The kids were so cute, they watched out the window then ran outside when Aaron and I pulled up. They made me welcome home signs. so sweet.

I rested a while in the rocking chair that reclines by the fireplace and just watched the kids play. Even though I can't take care of them or pick anyone up it's nice to just see them and give them kisses. Makes me feel a lot better that's for sure.

I got really tired and took a nap in the guestroom downstairs. Aaron propped me up with a ton of pillows because it's hard to lay flat, I am so used to the hospital bed that had me at an upright angle. While I rested my mom took the older two kids to the store to get my prescriptions filled and pick up some more groceries, tea and such for me. I woke up in a lot of pain so it was good that she got back with my pain pills lol.

we just hung out and my mom made a really yummy dinner of chicken fajitas and tacos. So much better than hospital food.

my mom got all the babies to sleep and we taked a bit, aaron finished cleaning up the kitchen and did all the dishes and we all went to bed around 11 I think. I feel kinda lazy, it's weird to not do anything to help clean or take care of the kids but I know it won't be long and I'll be back to the mama role. I shouldn't be complaining and I'm not really it's just different I guess.

I had a hard time finding a comfy way to sleep. ended up on my side with pillows supporting my back and front so I wasn't using muscles to hold myself in that position. I woke up four times I think. what I did was lay on a thick towel and then one on top of me. I had to change them three times cause they were soaked with sweat. sucks. I just didn't want to have to change the entire bedding set each time since aaron was sleeping there too. I just rotated pillows. I hope this crap goes away soon. Some say it's from the meds, the ID doc thinks it's toxins getting out of my body. whatever it is I'm so tired of it, more so at home since I can't press the call light and have the nurse come change it all for me lol. I really didn't want to wake aaron or my mom so the towel thing worked well.

I hurt though a lot mostly my incision but also my back and my lungs. Had a hard time going to the bathroom several times in the middle of the night. Things just don't work the same and it's often pretty painful. I really wish they hadn't cut me open and moved all my organs and such around to look at everything because nothing feels right anymore.

I did sleep in until 7 something. really nice to not have blood draws and nurses and docs in and out thru the night and early morning. don't miss that at all.

I really am going home TODAY!!!!!!!!

2008-05-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

gosh I am so excited right now! I really am going home. I am!!!!

I had a pretty good night, slept better than I have the 19 days I've been here. I think just being happy knowing I might be getting out of here did a lot for me and I was able to relax and get some rest (without ambien). I did have the same night sweats and soaked my gown and bedding ...aaron changed it for me though :-) was really cold and wet this morning but slept thru it besides the one middle of the night thing. We slept in until 7 today, no one came to draw blood and for once the PA student didn't do rounds on me at 6 am. It was wonderful, I'm not complaining about them forgetting or not ordering the blood draw. I just wanna go home!!

Aaron left to get the kids and take them to a clinic in Rio Rancho to have everyone including himself swabbed for strep just as a precautionary. It is possible they are carrying it in the back of their throat and just didn't get sick (none have had it ever BTW) It's kinda silly though because I doubt we'd treat any of them with abx if they were carrying it because it really doesn't make sense at this point. and they've been coming to see me everyday. It was just something we're doing to help get me outta here, a recommendation by one Doc so they're doing it.

1:00 is when I'm free! Maybe sooner if we get all the discharge stuff done and everything packed up. It's funny cause i came to the hospital with only the clothes I was wearing and my purse and now it seems like i have a ton of stuff to take home.

My mom is getting the house ready for me to come home, she's so excited too. said she had a hard time sleeping last night because she was thinking about me getting out of here.

She's gonna pick up all my meds from the pharmacy so Aaron and I don't have to worry about it.

I've taken three doses of abx orally now and no problems keeping them down or otherwise. I seriously feel so much better today, I mean my incision hurts the same and my back and lungs are achy but I don't feel as "sick" or icky as I did so I really really do think going home is the best thing for me.

I'm setting up all these appts with the ID docs, the surgeon, and our new family practice doc (he has been soooo helpful thru this) for follow-up care. I will have to be seen soon at least the ID practice to make sure my WBC isn't rising super high and that everything else is doing okay once I am home. Regardless it will be so much better than being stuck here.

Still waiting on the Lactation Consultant to call me back about follow-up as well as renting a hospital grade pump (and returning the one we borrowed from L&D)... I still need to finish my post about all that but things are looking up regarding me re-lactating so that makes me happy :-)

Some really GOOD news

2008-05-02T16:46:00.000-07:00

ha, funny after my night/morning wasn't going so well. anyway....

Aaron and I talked to my favorite infectious disease Docs this afternoon about how I'm doing and when I'm going to get better and such.

We came to the conclusion that I still am fighting off this awful blood infection but that being here and getting poked and woken up, tested for this and that all the time is not helping me get well. If anything it's holding me back. I'm not happy stuck here in a hospital bed, I can't even bring myself to watch tv and distract how I feel (and they have a bunch of cable channels you'd think not having even basic channels at home I'd be into it but I am soooo not)

I want to go home, I need to go home. If my body is going to heal it's going to regardless of how many MRI's or CT scans they put me thru. So we decided to start me on oral antibiotics tonight (just took it!) and see how I do with that for the next few doses. Keep an eye on my temp and other vital signs... IF tomorrow I am doing okay and my WBC count doesn't rise drastically then he thinks I should be okay to go home and finish treatment.

That would make me so happy. I'm going on like 19 days since I've been to my house. and of course the last three days I was there I was so awfully sick I feel like I've been away from home for a very long time.

So I'm crossing my fingers but trying not to get my hopes up too much. Really it's still up to my main doctor (the oh so bright surgeon) but honestly I think he'll be okay with it considering he's been trying to kick me outta here for like a week and a half... he only goes by the surgical aspect, saying I'm recovering fine from being sliced open just the usual no picking anything heavy up, avoid stairs when possible, no driving for 6-8 weeks, no vacuuming, mopping etc (woohoo) etc. pretty similar to a c-section just a little more drastic considering the size and place of my incision.

One of the reasons the ID doc is okay with trying this is because my mom is here. She can take care of me better than the nurses here (god, my nurse last night was awful) My mom has been an RN for what 36 years now and knows how to take care of me for sure. So going home means I'm not resuming my life as a mama and wife as I was but that I'm still healing and recovering, fighting off this toxic crap but that I might as well do so in familiar surroundings and not be bothered every 20 minutes by the hospital staff. That and I'm afraid of getting MRSA or something else from being here. Seriously I've seen too many patients here where they labeled them with that and said to other staff avoid contact, use protective garments. Just a few doors down there is a hallway full of people who have something contagious whether it's airborn or contact depends but their doors have big warning signs on them and when the nurses or docs go in they cover themselves with big yellow gowns, gloves, masks, feet thingies and such and strip in the area by the door before coming out and wash their hands like crazy. that crap scares me, I don't need another infection.

SO think positively for me. I need to go home, I really do. If so I have to of course check my temp and vitals regulary and come back to the ID group's clinic for blood draws and cultures to see my progress so I'm not going home because I'm all better just going home in hopes that it gets me better. My worst fear though is to do this only to have to return because I get worse. That would really suck because I never ever want to be in the hospital again so I'm hoping that doesn't happen.

Thanks if you read thru all this LOL. I'm in good spirits now, feeling really optimistic. Oh and talked to the charge nurse earlier and am getting a different nurse for tonight. thank goodness or I'd go crazy.

Jennifer, I really have been wanting to post something on comoms but it still tells me I do not have permission to acces this page and crap and will not let me respond or start a thread. Still frustrating, wondering if you knew how to get past that. maybe it will let me pm lisa but I'm not on a mobile cell phone device right now but a lap top so WTF???? LOL oh well hopefully I can post an update when I get home!!!!!

Friday Day 18

2008-05-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

It's only 9 am but so far today sucks

*my brother flew home to NY this morning and I miss him so much already. Like I said before he took really good care of me and the kids and it was nice to have the time to visit/catch up with him. I know Valerie missed him this past week though and is excited for him to get home.

*my WBC count went up today. I am so sick of hearing about it. I don't even care anymore because it's such a relief when they say your numbers went down and it's such a bummer when they say they went back up. All I care about now is when the heck do I get to go home. why doesn't anyone know if these abx are working and why have I been on them for so long? I know my infection was hardcore but come on, other cases I read seemed to have been off abx by 5 days and recovering or dead by now so I don't get it.

*I am very very sore today. my whole torso hurts. even after pain meds I am very uncomfy and find it hard to expand my lungs at all to breath. I think I did too much yesterday and pulled muscles or hurt my incision because this sucks. oh and my bro made me laugh a few times which is not okay. I had major abdominal surgery and laughing hurts really really bad and leaves me feeling even worse. I know my spirits are down at times but do not tell me anything remotely funny!!!

*Oh gosh I had the night shift nurse from hell. I mean she wasn't all mean and grumpy like some in fact she was quite the opposite BUT she did not know what she was doing at all. I know she is a brand new nurse and orienting at this hospital but she just seemed to mess everything up. Tried telling me I was on some meds I've never taken (eventually she realized she had the wrong patients chart wtf?) and just seemed to be "hoping" to do everything right. Like I hope this is how you flush the IV, I hope this is how I can get the machine to stop beeping. I hope I am reading this right. I had to point out one of my meds on her scanner thing because she couldn't even find it. didn't realize ibuprofen and motrin are the same thing. Not sure how to really describe her but she was kinda scary. My bro was getting frustrated and said this is why so many people die from hospital errors, more than car accidents and such because of nurses like her. I know that sounds drastic but she just did not seem to know how to do anything right. The worst part was after she woke me up at 6 am (after an awful night of no sleep)and made me pee in a cup, she said ok I'm almost off now but I'll see you tonight. OH HELL NO! I'm gonna talk to the charge nurse today, I will leave AMA if she is assigned to me again. for real.

*I couldn't eat more than a bite or two of breakfast. I just don't feel well and couldn't stomach the nasty ass crap they called scrambled eggs.

*Horrible Night sweats last night. Between midnight and 6 am my gown and bedding had to be changed four times. I soaked it all wet and woke up freezing. didn't get any sleep hardly and had a round of abx from 2:30-3:30 am that kept me awake and then lucky me the lab peeps came to draw blood at 4 am today. Then me and my brother stayed up a while talking (mostly about crazy nurse lady and then about the kids) and then woke up again at 6 something so he could catch a taxi and I could start my round of Docs/PA visits (aka mr freezing hands who examines me and makes me tense up, no going back to sleep after that.

I just hate all this. It sucks and I know I complain a lot here. It's probably better I didn't have a computer here the first week when I was really miserable and constantly on morphine because I'd hate to see the awful things I would have had to say about my hospital experience then. sheesh, for sure this now is a ton better.

Like I said it's only 9 something now, hopefully I can add to this later in the day with better news cause right now I'm wishing I could start the day over.

Today was a good day

2008-05-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

have that ice cube song in my head now LOL

Don't want to jinx myself since it's only 10:00 pm BUT so far today has been pretty damn good

* My mama arrived this morning and spent the day with me here at the hospital, she just now left to head to my house to take care of the kids and my brother is spending the night with me

* My WBC count actually went DOWN today. Finally, after going up two days in a row it was a little discouraging but yep today they went down. Lets hope the trend continues and tomorrows numbers are even lower.

* My chest xrays showed plural afusions (no clue how it's really spelled) but it means I do still have fluid in my lungs however the docs didn't seem as concerned anymore at this point and said to use my incentive spirometer (breathing thingie) and take lots of walks to help get the fluid out. Days ago they were freaking me out saying they'd have to stick a needle in my lungs to drain them which sounds awful and an increased chance of another infection.

* I'm feeling quite a bit better. still kinda icky like I have a cold but nothing too too bad. that or the pain meds are masking it but I haven't had a fever today or chills. my head just feels heavy and my throat is a little sore but overall much better than the past two days.

*on a similar note Lincoln is 80% better. still not himself but no fever, eating ok, drinking a lot of fluids and playing. A little clingy but he seems to be on the mend. That's the good thing, when my kiddos do get sick it tends to only last 24-48 hrs and they return to their rowdy ways.

*Aaron went to work for a bit which is good because it distracts him from worrying so much about me and gets him out of the hospital. Plus he has a lot of work to do for being gone over two weeks and we really need to save the rest of his vacation time for our actual vacation in August.

*My bro took me, Nate and Jay outside on a little walk and we sat on a bench in the courtyard area and the boys ran races and played in the grass while I watched them and enjoyed the fresh air.

*I got to take a real shower today!!! My mama helped me wash my hair and get all nice and clean. I feel so much better after sweating so bad the past few days.

*oh oh oh almost forgot the very best thing but it will be a long post I already know so I'll make it separate in a bit :-)

Here's hoping tomorrow is even better!!

pictures

2008-05-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

Now that I can get into blogger I'm thinking about adding some pics from the hospital. well, probably a link to some photos cause really the ones of me are awful. I do have some of the kids and aaron and my flowers and such. I'll see if I can get photobucket to work for me I'll probably do it. just so i can look back and see how bad I look LOL. seriously I have lost 10 pounds and need a shower badly!!!! won't be sharing any with the awful NG tube but maybe some more recent ones where I at least have some color and am feeling better.

damn hospital

2008-05-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

really annoying but we're using the hospitals wi-fi connection which means they block certain web sites. One of them is blogspot. So I can log into blogger and type an entry but I cannot see my own blog or others because they have blogspot in the url and that's a banned site.

Erin sent me a URL to a proxy server that is suppossed to get you in to the banned/blocked sites and it worked for another one so I will have to try it for my blog.

it's https://kproxy.com

Day 16 Thursday

2008-05-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

Hopefully todays a good day. I woke up in more pain than usual because of the puking and pulling stomach muscles/incision pain but to be cautious the nurse gave me one pain pill and came back 20 min later to give me the other one. I didn't feel like I was going to throw up at all so that is a good sign today will be better!!!

oh and my MAMA is coming this morning. her plane should be landing within the next half an hour. So excited to see her again. She was here when I woke up after surgery and the next day but had to go home to catch babies so I haven't seen her almost two weeks. what sucks is that when she planned to come back and worked out a schedule with the other midwives to cover for her we all assumed I'd be home and that she would be taking care of me and the kids and Aaron would go to work.

Well, I'm still here with no clue when I'll be able to go home and Aaron still hasn't returned to work. actually today he is actually going in for a bit to talk to them and see how things are going and get what he needs to work from the hospital of home. He set up the laptop to have remote access to his computer at work so hopefully it will work out that he can get some work done. I keep telling him to go to work, I'll be fine but he's afraid to leave me unless my brother or someone else is here to help. We haven't had the best of luck with some of the Doctors and I really do need someone to help advocate for me.

Today so far besides the blood draw super early I've seen the student PA Matt who's been doing rounds on me everyday for the past two weeks. Haven't seen any docs yet or found out todays WBC count or platelets. Aaron and I did take a walk in the hallway and I ate about half my breakfast. feeling okay so far just sweaty and hot as usual.

Can't wait to see my mom but am sad my brother has to go home tomorrow. He has taken such good care of me and the kids the past week. Really, he amazes me. And his medical knowledge and how he speaks to the docs, nurses ect is so professional he tends to get a lot more info out of them than say Aaron or I. He has also done really well taking care of the kids. Four kids is a lot for anyone to handle and you'd think someone like my bro with no kids of his own yet would struggle but he did really well. Made sure they were all bathed, dressed nicely, fed good foods, etc. and just had a lot of fun activities and things to do with them. I'm impressed that he took them shopping by himself, went to the mountains and took them all in teh tramway to get to the top and see the view of albuquerque, took them all to the library, out to eat food, ice cream, and even took them swimming yesterday afternoon. I know they are going to miss Uncle Matt since he's so much fun, yet he still is able to help them when they are misbehaving, he's firm and consistent with them and I think they respect that and for the most part behaved really well for him. I am just amazed and super grateful that he took a week off from his busy NYC life and demanding job (He works at Pfizer, a very important job there too) and came here to help me and the kids. It worked out nice that Aaron and he switched off so that both could be with me and neither got too overwhelmed with the kiddos and taking care of the house. I'll miss him a ton :(

More on Day 15 wednesday evening

2008-05-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

oh man so last night was not so good. Besides the fever fiasco I just felt crappy. I picked at my dinner even though it smelled like a trash can to me LOL. seriously. anyway I had some salad and broccoli and a cup of ice tea. So later on Aaron was like what do you feel like eating? I'll go get you whatever you want, anything but this hospital food. Of course I couldn't decided nothing sounds good. nothing at all. plus the fact that I was sure my sickness was caused by a bad case of food poisoning from a certain new mexican restaraunt I am scared to eat anything, especially fast food. Anyhow he drove around with me on the phone naming places and I couldn't decide. finally he found gourmet pizza place and I agreed to try a cheese pizza. no toppings, nothing strong tasting just plain cheese.

So I get off the phone so he can go order and the nurse comes in to give me some meds for the night. 2 percocet, colace, pepcid, flexeral I take them and drink a big cup of water to help them go down. It felt like a percocet was stuck in my throat and so I drank a little more. anyway then I get up to go pee and as soon as I get into the bathroom I'm throwing up uncontrolably. Like it was pretty forceful. I can feel the meds come back up and of course the little bit of food I had eaten earlier. I threw up several times and Aaron walked in while I was in there. He called the nurse and tried to help rub my back/shoulders and cool me down with a wet washcloth. I am in so much pain because of my tummy muscles and my incision. oh man it burned, felt like I ripped my stomach back open. awful feeling. anyway he helps me walk back to the bed but I stopped and threw up more in the trash can and stayed standing there feeling like I might have to hurl again. The nurse comes in to help and they get me back to the bed. Now I'm crying in pain because of my incision and my stomach muscles. I'm also crying because I was waiting four hrs for those damn pain pills and now I puked them up. I figure they can't give you more because of the slight chance that some were absorbed and I definitely don't want to overdose or cause more damage to my already enlarged liver.

So the nurse checks my incisions and feels around on my tummy says everything looks ok. the steri strips are all still in place, I'm just in lot of pain. Oh so I sit in bed crying blowing my nose like a million times. For some reason I was really snotty and usually blowing my nose is painful but I didn't care and wanted to get all the mucous out so it doesn't drip down to my stomach or lungs. I really think I have a cold which is why I'm so snotty and the reason behind the recent fevers.

So in the process of all this I guess I effed up my IV. I have had so many IV's and blood draws they are running out of places to put the IV and have resorted to using my hand lately. Well the one I got yesterday was right where my hand meets up with my arm so my wrist. Like exactly where it bends so stupid place to have it I spent the day trying to keep my hand/arm straight. SO not realizing it's messed up the nurse starts pumping in anti-naseau meds into my IV. OMFG it hurt so bad. He goes yeah fenigan (not sure if thats the name) will burn a bit, kinda sting but it will help you feel better. Oh hell no, this was immense pain radiating from my hand to my elbow. my vein started puffing up and I'm screaming in pain something is not right. I've had this med before and yes it kinda stings but this was way different. So he stops and says oh I guess your IV is messed up, I did see you bending your wrist when you were blowing your nose. so holy shit I wish they'd cut my arm off because it hurt so bad. He gets what he needs and pulls it out. well it still hurts and this morning it still hurts. not as bad but it's painful. my vein is all puffy and my wrist all bruised up it looks awful. when they came for a blood draw this am I'm like stay the heck away from this arm.

So he was able to run a new IV on my other arm and flushes it with saline and I am happy to say it just felt cool and kinda uncomfy but no crazy pain. Hopefully this IV lasts more than a day cause I am sick and tired of getting new ones and having problems with them backing up or what have you. One day it took 3 nurses and nine pokes before they got one going (in my freakin thumb nonetheless) that I broke the same night trying to scoot myself up in bed.

Because I was in so much more pain now my tummy and back and lungs and freaking arm but I can't retake my oral pain meds, the nurse pumped some morphine into my IV. I've been off that for about a week and don't miss it in the least but was happy there was something I could have to relieve some of my pain. He had me take small sips of warm sprite (haven't had any soda or carbination for two weeks now) to help my tummy and after about an hour he gave me an ambien to help me sleep in hopes that I wouldn't throw it up.

So poor aaron had to eat the pizza alone. he had also got me some yummy looking carrot cake but I couldn't eat a thing. no freaking way.

My night was ok. I was in and out of it (ambien does not knock me out that's for sure) got up to pee a few times and had a round of antibiotics at 3 am which I slept thru most of it. I didn't have crazy sweating episodes like I have been and now we're wondering if it has anything to do with the morphine like withdrawl or something? Not sure though cause this morning I have gotten sweaty again and had to change my bedding and gown but at least I didn't have to in the middle of the night.

Day 15

2008-04-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

SO today, not such a good day. blood tests show wbc is up again. this is so frustrating, my platelets did go down slightly but they may very well flucuate up even higher tomorrow. sucks because for a few days in a row my CBC was dropping drastically and everyone seemed so happy for me. I was also feeling a lot better and moving around more, another good sign.

The boys came up to see us in the morning, Lincoln doing much better but you can tell he still didn't feel well. no more fever though, maybe a little warm but nothing that we worried about. Later Matt took the three older kids to the library and then to dairy queen and then swimming. sounds like they had a good time and got wore out.

In the afternoon I started feeling really bad again. Was freezing cold and shaky, goosebumps everywhere no matter what we'd do. I had a ton of blankets and was still so cold and tensed up. My head felt like it was going to explode. I felt really sick almost flu like (not that I recall what the flu feels like but I imagine how I felt) well they didn't wait to take my temps and did so and of course I had a fever 102 degrees. Aaron was trying to cool me down with lukewarm washcloths only that I was so damn cold I was like leave me alone you're making it worse. they said we have to bring down your body temp, you feel cold but you are burning up. eventually I started getting hot just like I did last night and again drenched the bed in sweat and felt like my body was on fire. then I welcomed to washcloths. I felt awful and still don't feel well. I feel sick, I mean I am sick of course which is why I'm in the hospital but now I feel sick like a cold/virus/something! I was given more tylenol and pain meds and finally the fever broke and I felt a little better. was able to sit up and talk a bit but still felt crummy.

We paged the infectious disease doc and he came in to see me and answer some questions for us. he then ordered two chest x rays to examine my lungs so we went downstairs for that. still haven't heard the results but I imagine in the morning. It sucks because things have been going so well and had I not gotten these fevers I could be getting ready to talk about going home sometime soon. now they aren't so sure and have to figure out what's going on. I also had two more blood draws tonight that they are going to culture and am about to go pee in a cup for another UA. Oh and a blood specialist doctor (can't think of his fancy name) came to see me tonight and said he's keeping a close eye on my lab work/numbers each day and will be part of the team now to help get me better. He seemed to think the high platelets were just a result of my sickness not some other underlying condition so that's good.

I'm sweating like crazy right now and feel dizzy but lets hope tomorrow is a better day.

Day 14 Lincoln's sick

2008-04-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

written wed but describing tuesday:

for some reason Dr. Dumbass didn't order a blood draw (they usually come in about 4:45 am) so after the shift change my bro let the nurses know that this was really important and we finally got it done in the afternoon. anyway that meant that when the infectious disease Doc came there were no test results and not really much to go off of. frustrating. by the time the results came back there were no docs doing rounds. we talked the nurse into giving us the numbers and while I can't recall the #'s both the white blood count and platelets had gone up from the day before. That was a downer but we thought well hey it's only one days results, tomorrow might be a better day.

My brother took me out for a long walk in a wheel chair and got some fresh air. that was really nice we even sat at a picnic table for a while talking. just really good to get out of that damn hospital room. On the way back up we stopped at the gift shop and I got some candy and a People magazine.

In the evening Aaron brought the kids up to see me and so he and Matt could switch (Matt had stayed with me and Aaron had watched the kids) well poor Lincoln looked awful. His cheeks were red, his eyes looked so sad and he was very lethargic just laying back in the stroller when he normally wants to get out and be held or play. Poor baby, I was in a chair eating my yummy dinner so I just had to get up and go see him. I realize now it wasn't the best idea but he's my baby, my baby who I haven't even been able to hold for two weeks now. I touched his forhead with my cheek and he was burning up. I kissed him on the head and rubbed his face with my hands trying to get a smile or any reaction out of him. Gosh he looked awful. Aaron took his temp and it was 102. OMG my poor baby, he's never been sick like this before, sure he's had a runny nose and been stuffed up a little but nothing that really fazed him and no fever that I've ever known about. He was just out of it and wimpering. So we never treat their fevers when they do have them with fever reducer/pain relievers. But he just seemed to be feeling so bad. He was drinking a bit of pediatlyte but I still worried about him. Aaron bought some infant tylenol drops. "Infant" they said but alas the box only had the dosage for 24 lbs or two years and up. It said ask your doctor for 2 and under. WTF?!?! so that's how inexperienced we are at giving meds to little ones, had no idea infant tylenol wasn't really for infants. sheesh. we figured out how much to give him and after about half an hr he seemed to perk up a bit and his temp started dropping. Matt took them all home though we told him to call if Linc got any worse and Aaron would go home to be with him. All the kids crashed early and Linc went to sleep too, by that time his temp was down to 99. Matt didn't give him any more tylenol and said he woke up a couple times kinds wimpering but by the time my brother got upstairs to check on him he had fallen back asleep.

anyway so later in the night (we're up here until midnight usually becuase of vitals and meds and such) I started getting the chills really bad. I was freezing. 3 blankets and the heat turned up I couldn't get over how cold and shaky I was. Aaron rubbed my legs trying to warm them up but nothing worked. eventually I was laying there in and out of it crying and I got super warm. Started sweating really bad and soaking the bed. I was burning up and the tech did my vitals and said I had a fever. The nurse came and gave me two tylenol along with my muscle relaxer and pain meds and sleeping pill and eventually I cooled down. I was able to get up and change my gown and Aaron changed my wet bedding and I went to sleep for the night. I woke up when it was time to do my IV antibiotics only to be cold and wet again because the bed was drenched in sweat. again had to change everything and get dry. start the IV and I fell back asleep. I woke up again around 4am and had to repeat the process and get more pain meds. it was awful and the night sweats are not something new they've been going on for several days but the fever was unexpected because it's one thing that has been a positive about me getting better, that I haven't had a tempurature... a sign that the abx are working and fighting my infection.

Day 11 in the hospital

2008-04-25T21:28:00.001-07:00

Todays Highlights/Progress

* Awful muscle spasms in my back that are kicking my butt. very frustrating and very painful make moving around much harder and breathing more difficult.

Surgeon wasn't down with muscle relaxers and pain pills don't even touch it so he recomended a heating pad and 800 mg of ibuprophen.

When I asked about getting the thirty staples removed that are holding my incision together he said sure anytime how about tomorrow!?!? huh so we shall see

*The Infectious Disease Doc decides an MRI would be a next step because of my back pain and the fact that the white blood cell count went from 24000 yesterday up to a whopping 31000 today. And Mri may show another infection somewhere say in the spine or a pocket somewhere that the abx are not reaching and holding me back from getting better

*So the MRI was very uncomfy for me mainly cause at the end when the tech tryed to help me get from laying flat and up into the wheen chair my back spazzed out like crazy. I was in tears when I rolled out to see my brother waiting for me. eh, hopefully it was worth it and shows good results

*on a good note I switched from my gourmet full liquid diet to some real food. well as real as you can get in the hospital. I couldn't each much more that a bite here and there but it was still nice to actaully chew something since 14 days ago before I got sick and was able to eat.

*Took a long walk with matt, only it ended up being too long and I struggled like crazy to get back to the room. was very sore because of it.

Got Beautiful Flowers from Erin as wekk as a darling flowere arrangemnet of pink and white tulips in a rainbow painted vase with a teddy bear hugging it from Jen, Clark, Donovan as well as Jenny, James and Audra. thanks and pics are coming tomorrow when im not about to pass out from the ambien. so good night

below is the start to some rambling about our morning. will have to add more to it
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matt flew in from NY to Albuquerque last night so he was able to stay with me overnight and Aaron went home to be with his mom and the kids for her last night in town.

I slept ok, full of ambien and percocet but by ok I mean a few hrs here and there. The thing is the tech comes to check vitals at midnight which was just after we had settled down and were almost alseep. After that I slept a couple hours waking briefly in discomfort but went back to sleep until about 3 am. I then had to go to the bathroom really bad (my catheter was removed a couple days ago) but getting out of bed sent horrible muscle spasms up and down my back. I was crying and in a ton of pain. went potty, my bro got the nurse and i tried to get comfy again with spazing off my back again. I tried to breath slowly and put my oxygen back on to help and get over the pain, trying to relax. The nurse brought me so pain meds and Matt made me a heading pack and somehow I managed to doze off again aroun 4 am or so. This was also however the time the nurse was set to start a new round of antibiotics thru my iv so that took a bit to get going and the machine not beeping (annoying) I always feel icky when the IV antibiotics go in, kinda drowsy, tummy moving around and I get hot and sweat pretty much from head to toe. So needless to say it was rough but I did doze here and there. Funny but I even woke up at 4:45 expecting the "lab" peeps to be there ready to draw my blood just cause its what I've been used since my stay here. nonetheless they forgot me (shocker) again which meant I did try to snooze a lil until (like clockwork) the Student PA Matt comes in at 6 am to do "rounds". He does his whole speil and looks at my incision, listens to my heart, lungs, asks how I'm feeling etc. His hands are always freeeeeezing cold and checks legs feet tummy back and such. really hard to relax and fall asleep after

The Day I got sick Sat April 12th

2008-04-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

so really I am writing this more than two weeks later but i just wanted to add something for the day I got sick to help me keep track of things.

Saturday April 12th

we had such a fun day, took the kids up to the Sandia Mountains, did some crazy four wheeling/off roading in Aaron's pathfinder. man we got that truck muddy LOL. Anyway it was so pretty up there and we found some really neat spots to come back to when it gets warmer. It's fairly warm here in albuquerque/rio rancho but up in the mountains it's still chilly. not bad though just wet because the little bit of snow that was at the top of the mountain was melting down making a really pretty stream along the side of the road.

Aaron took several neat pics to show the view from the top and some other parts of the mountain, unfortunately they were with his phone because I forgot the camera but I'm glad we had something to remember that day. They are loaded on the computer at home but someday I will post some on my blog cause they are really neat.

We drove thru and down the mountain ending up in NE albuauerque where we went out to eat. This is where I thought I got food poisoning but at the time the food was good and everyone was happy. We then went to a store and walked around looking at things. that's when I started feeling ill. I was cramping pretty bad and thought it was related to my period that was almost finished but still there. I went to the bathroom and felt a little better. We drove over by Cliff's amusement park (similar to Lakeside) and watched people go on the rides and checked out the prices and saw part of the kiddie rides area. Oh man the kids were super excited and really wanted to go but it was 5:30 and the park closes at 6 pm until summer hrs. So we told them we would plan on going tomorrow since it was sunday and daddy's home and we didn't have any other plans. Well of course that never happened because I got super super sick that night and continued to fell like crap for the rest of the weekend. I didn't leave my room/bathroom upstairs so Aaron cared for the kids by himself, even taking them grocery shopping and giving baths, the whole nine yards.

Denae's school was closed for monday and tuesday so she was home with me. I convinced aaron I was okay so he went to work monday morning only I called him around noon and told him I couldn't get out of bed except to go throw up in the bathroom and was in the worst pain of my life. he came home early and took care of the kids (who had been taking care of themselves, Denae made them breakfast and lunch and pretty much helped the boys with whatever they needed) that night I suffered in my room, wishing I could die. seriously. To me it was the worst food poisioning ever and I just kept thinking this has to get better. get out of my system and I will be okay. except that I couldn't eat or drink anything. Aaron kept trying to bring me things but I'd take a bite and go throw up. I had the worst intestinal cramping, like they would violently squeeze like crazy and my stomach would harden up. my stomach was also fairly swollen and puffed up, did not look right at all. I started feeling super dehydrated and like I was going to die or faint at least. I then was throwing up green stuff with a little bit of water I was able to keep down until I threw up again. Oh I got the chills quite often and then would get super hot and sweaty. I know I had a fever most of the time.

Finally Tuesday after not eating, drinking or getting any sleep for three nights I decided it wasn't getting better and I needed to go to the hospital. Aaron got the kids ready and somehow I managed to half dress myself (like no underwear and slippers instead of shoes, a shirt I found on the floor, etc... I looked fabulous I know lol)

we got to the ER in Rio Rancho and signed in saying I had food poisioning and severe dehydration. I assumed they'd give me some IV fluid, maybe something for the pain and help get it out of my system and I could go home that night. Wrong though, as soon as the triage nurse saw me and grabbed my wrist to feel my pulse she freaked out, put me in a wheelchair and took me to a room. There 6 people, doctors and nurses surrouned me trying to figure out how to stabalize me. My heart was beating insanely fast and overworking. They thought my organs were going to shut down and several times I heard them say they had a critical patient or that I was unstable. It was kinda scary. All I wanted was the pain to go away, you could see my stomach cramping and my body shaking. I cried that I hurt so bad make it stop and the nurse said right now my main concern is your heart. I can't help you with the pain until we get you stable. They did three ekg's and put me on oxygen, IV fluid and eventually got me to the point where she could inject morphine into the IV. Only thing is that it never worked for my pain. It kinda calmed the rest of my body down but the horrible pain in my stomach was untouchable. I was miserable and severly dehydrated. In a short amount of time i went thru 13 bags of IV fluid. They just kept saying you're really sick. Why didn't you come to the ER sooner? Your body is barely hanging in there. they made it sound like if I hadn't came in that night my body/organs/heart would have shut down.

It seemed like forever (probably two hrs) but I told the nurse you've got to go tell my husband what's going on. the kids are out there and probably starving and need to go home to bed. She just said I'd like to but right now you are my priority and I can't leave your side. Eventually someone went out there to tell him I was not ok and that it was not just food poisoning but they didn't know what was wrong and were going to do a bunch of diagnostics/tests. He took the kids to get food and around midnight home to go to sleep. He of course could not sleep and was up all night worrying, texting me or calling the ER to find out what was going on. I know he so badly wanted to be there with me but we had no one to stay with four children who needed to sleep and not spend the night in the waiting room.

So I did all sorts of tests (still in horrible pain) x rays, a cat scan, an MRI, several ultrasounds, blood and urine tests and so on. Oh and how could I ever forget the worst thing of all was the NG tube. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It was completely awful and just thinking about it now makes me want to cry. The nurse sprayed this numbing stuff up my nose and then in my mouth down my throat only it didn't really numb shit. Then she give me a cup of water with a straw and says drink this fast when I tell you to. OMG so she sticks this tube up my nose and then pushes it down my throat and into my stomach. I'm in so much pain and feel like throwing up/gagging something. But I have to drink the water as she gets it down to my stomach so she can suck it back up the tube and make sure it's in the right place and working. it burned, it hurt, it was insanely uncomfortable and annoying I wanted to rip it out or cut my head off. Awful!!!!! so the NG tube sucked a bunch of nasty stuff out of my stomack and drained it. it was nasty. Then later she uses it to fill my stomach with this icky contrast liquid for the CT scan. at this point I am dying of thirst, no one would let me have a sip of water becuase they kept saying you're gonna end up having surgery you can't have anything. I kept telling them cant you just suck it back out of my stomach with this damn tube? but the most I finally got was a couple ice chips. my mouth was so dry and nasty. when I swallowed or moved my tongue around I could feel the tube in the back of my throat. IT sucked and I had it in for almost three days. thru my surgery and the next day, I was so sick and tired of it, nasty thing.

So I'll stop here now and not go into the other hospital just yet. but what happened was after 8 hrs in the ER I was transferred to the bigger hospital downtown in the middle of the night and put into the ICU waiting for a surgeon to arrive.

Poor Aaron who was up all night, called my mom at three am and she got online and booked the first flight to ABQ for the morning. I had told him not to bother anyone, we'll let people know in the AM but he knew better and I was so glad my mom was there the next morning as I awoke from general anestesia.

popcorn

2008-04-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

we love popcorn so we bought a hot air popper. Doesn't need any oil or anything just turn it on and it heats up the kernals enough until they pop. I'm glad we can now enjoy fresh popcorn without all the crap microwave bags have in them. I mean we still loaded it up on butter and salt after it was made but at least it was the real stuff. and so much better tasting. oh and much cheaper as well.

The kids loved watching it pop

I think I hear something

yummy

Denae's Dental Appt

2008-04-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

was yesterday and she passed with flying colors haha. I seriously thought she might have a cavity or they'd say something didn't look right since it has been so long since she has been to the dentist. But alas her teeth are good, complained that the toothpaste used for the cleaning tasted old and yucky but other than that she did great.

Mr Lincoln

2008-04-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

Just cause he's so stinkin cute and looks like a big boy now

My new wheels

2008-04-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

so happy I can finally go for walks around our neighborhood. The plan is to go each day before lunch, today it was a bit windy but we stayed out about an hour. I love this stroller, it is super easy to push, I can do so with one finger LOL. The only thing is I really should put the wrist strap on when going down at even a tiny degree cause it will just start rolling... that's how easy it is to push. Of course the front wheel has to be locked and not on swivel mode for the sand/dirt but it still turned really well.

I am impressed, it's no phil and teds like I really wanted but for half the price it will work just fine. It even folds up rather compact for a double jogger and has speaker and a plug for our mp3 player or Ipod. Both seats recline separately and the lil guys seemed comfy.

Stopping for a snack once we got to the main road

our house from the side, taken by Nathan who says he may just be a photographer some day if the cowboy gig doesn't work out

and just for fun a house down the road that I love

Lincoln's New Hair cut

2008-04-06T13:15:00.000-07:00

He's so cute and such a big boy.

Before:

During:

After:

Coconut Margarita.... yummy

2008-04-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

so camera phone but we had lunch at Garduno's for some yummy new mexican food. They brew the Tequila right there too it's a neat place. Aaron and I both decided to try the coconut margaritas with honey on the rim of the glass - and some type of nuts too. SO good, as were the steak fajitas I had.

Merk has some competition

2008-04-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

The FDA approved the use of GlaxoSmithKline's Rotarix vaccine. Similar to Merk's higly profitable Rotateq vaccine which is often given to infants in an effort to prevent rotavirus or the "diarhea bug" that almost all children will have at least once before the age of five. The biggest problem with this virus is of course the risk of dehydration which is the leading cause of hospitalization for lil one with rotavirus.

important info IMO:

Glaxo is currently negotiating terms of a follow-up study with FDA to track the vaccine's safety in the U.S. The FDA based its approval of Rotarix on studies in South America, Europe, Asia and Africa.

oh and this important gem taken directly from the FDA itself:

In that study, there was no increase in the risk of intussusception in those who received Rotarix (31,673 infants) compared to those who received placebo (31,552 infants). Increased rates of convulsion and pneumonia-related deaths were observed in the Rotarix recipients in the intussusception study, however these events were not observed in other studies conducted by the manufacturer.

Just as with any new vaccine our children are in fact guinea pigs as they are not efficiently tested before the FDA approves of them. Remember the original recalled rotavirus vax Rotashield Wyeth put out there?

I wouldn't touch Rotarix with a ten foot pole. But then we obviously didn't do rotateq either - knock on wood no rotavirus here that I noticed, though chances are my kids have each had it seeing as how almost every human does at some point, if and when they did it must have been short lived and nothing I worried about. They've had diarrhea before so there you go, maybe that was it but nothing horrible. I suppose we are lucky in that respect 'cause it sure seems to be an awful bug for others or so I've heard.
anyway here's the article from aol health news.

Wow, this is interesting

2008-04-04T09:38:00.001-07:00

Just read this article, super interesting and kinda frightening.

Germs in Soil Thrive on Antibiotics

Not only are they resisitant to common antibiotics but they THRIVE in it.

These bacteria outwit antibiotics in a disturbingly novel way, and now the race is on to figure out just how they do it - in case more dangerous germs that sicken people could develop the same ability.

More disturbing, a number of bacteria could withstand levels of antibiotics that were 50 to 100 times higher than would be given to a patient.

"They were not only resistant, they were super-resistant," Church said.

The finding comes amid increasing concern that many infections could soon become untreatable, as more bacteria become immune to today's antibiotics even as few new drugs are being discovered.

why CIO is not okay

2008-04-03T16:21:00.000-07:00

Recently read thru this entire thread and so much of what was said is why I think letting a baby cry it out is just not acceptable parenting. Not that many read this and I realize mine is not a popular opinion but I don't care. Call it instinct or whatever but I know in my heart responding to an infants cry is appropriate - I mean they always need something if they are crying right?

One of my favorite people there said it best, as always:

why don't you leave your baby to cry?

In no particular order:

why on earth WOULD I?
because it's my job to take care of her
biology makes it highly uncomfortable
I don't believe in child abuse/neglect
because it's an awful thing to do
when I decided to reproduce, taking care of a baby was part of the deal
it's not an acceptable choice.

-Angela

here's the thread... real mothers, makes sense to me

and yeah I have one kid who just turned three who still does not sleep thru the night. I also have a 12 month old who does and has for quite some time. Not to mention Denae slept thru the night at 10 weeks and continued to from then on. Nathan I'm trying to remember but I believe he did around 6 months and then started waking for a while then regulated himself and slept thru the night again by his first b-day. Never did we consider CIO and guess what? we've survived, I know they won't be little forever so whats a few years of my life with interuppted sleep? In the grande scheme of my days on earth it won't matter. So I may be sleep deprived at times and yes it does impact my parenting but I can cope and as long as there's coffee in the house I can suck it up and get thru the day.

But to make them cry and think no one cares and give up because guess what? no one comes when they need something, that very well could damage their development as a loving human being. seriously, as extreme as that sounds so much is dependant on their ability to trust at such a young helpless age that it forms who they are forever. and yeah there are studies to back that up and the other types of damage done when prolonged crying without comfort occurs. I didn't just make that up, not that I care so much about what experts say because like I said it's my mama instinct. Though for those who think pediatricians know best why not read some of Dr. Sears information? pretty sure he's against CIO.

the reason for this ranting? It drives me nuts when mother's tell other mother's to try CIO. OR maybe even worse coming from someone who doesn't have any kids of their own. Seriously of all the advice you can offer why would you do that? I mean if you can sleep well at night -pun intended- after doing this with your own child that's on you but to suggest that someone else, especially a new mother do this and that not only is it acceptable but it's for the best is absurb. No one ever said parenting was easy, particularily the first few years. ocaasional sleepless nights should be a given, not just something that happens to those who let their kid control them for goodness sake. - rant over.

And BTW I do actually think I'm well rested for the most part so this isn't coming from me because I am bitter about my kids sleeping habits. The one that does still get up in the middle of the night, hardly wakes me when he is up and it's only for a few seconds until he is fast asleep again. Heck, I wake up more fully to go pee several times a night so what's it to me.

Family Night

2008-04-03T07:58:00.000-07:00

was last night at the new school. Yep, it's official both Denae and Nathan will be going to a new elementary school come fall. And as much as I loved D's current school, I am excited about the new one. What has happened is that the city is growing, more and more houses are being built and the schools are getting crowded. As of now Denae's school has 900 kids and 90 staff. That's a lot of people even if her "campus" is rather large, bigger than any elem school I've ever seen. So they are building more schools, two on the north side of town where we live and both set to open in August. And of course school starts when we are on vacation so that sucks but I imagine it will all work out.

Anyway, so last night was family night which consisted of teacher and staff introductions by the principal - who was hilarious btw, a scavenger hunt to find things in the building including "nut free classrooms" and a frog in the library lol. They had a ton of food: fresh fruit, chips and salsa, cookies, crackers and cheese, drinks etc, snack type things but it made it go so well with all the lil kids there who were likely missing dinner time to attend.

Oh and I got the registration paperwork for Nathan to start kindergarten, he was super excited and when we visited a classroom he loved the reading/listening nook where there were comfy spots to chill, books to read and cd's to listen to with headphones. He also impressed me when he did an activity that consisted of matching coins with their value and name. He seriously did them all by himself, fast too. Recognized the quarter being equal to 25 cents and a dime as 10 and so on. What surprised me was how he put the correct labels. Not that he could really "read" all of them but it was amazing how he knew "nickel" was the right set of letters to go with the nickel.

The kids are excited, their same friends they play with from our neighborhood will be transferring too. It starts the same time 9:00 which we LOVE and the bus stop will be the same, right on the corner of our road. I think it will be good, brand new, lots of money put into the school for sure. They ordered a fantastic playground set up a few days ago and it will be put in this summer. From what I understand new schools are often desired for many reasons one being that good teachers tend to flock to new buildings, all wanting to work there. At this point the school is projecting an enrollement of 400 studens so much less than D's school now. But the principal did say they would have the capabilities for twice that amount over the years when they hire more staff. The plan is to not have to move these kids to another school again by changing the boundaries when more growth occurs - which it will, Rio Rancho is booming.

Oh and I even got interviewed by a reporter from the alburquerque journal. Curious as to whether or not she'll publish what I said because clearly she was looking for something more juicy/dramatic LOL. She was like so how do you feel about switching our kids? Are you upset? Do you think it's fair? Where do you live? - I guess there was debate among the boundary committe and my area barely made the cutoff to transfer- she was like did you meet the principal? do you like her? and such, just from the way she was asking and responding to what I said you could tell she was hoping for someone who was enraged but alas had no choice but to move their kid. Clearly that was not me cause I was like, we're down for whatever. We're new to rio rancho, so new to the current school anyway. I can see how if your kid had spent half their elem school career at one place and then was forced to move it might be frustrating but we just go with the flow. I mean I am super happy with D's school and the new school uses the same curriculum, even the floor plan is pretty similar, the dress code etc are all the same thru out the district. I just don't see any bad in it at this point. The biggest thing would be the friends she has and most are going to the new school so there you go.

OH oh oh and I joined the PTO - which I thought was PTA but whatever, same thing. LOL and see that's the thing it wasn't as intimidating since everyone will be new to the school, not just people like us who just moved here. It's a fresh start and one I am excited to be a part of. I've decided if I have to give up my dreams of homeschooling for the time being I might as well get as involved as possible with their school - hard though with little ones at home but I want to do what I can that's for sure.

phew, long post but hey it's my blog and a place to get out my feelings. Then I can look back at it in the future and hopefully everything will have worked out as well as I'm expecting them to.

my helper

2008-04-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

Denae is so helpful with the baby but also with the bigger boys. Over spring break I loved having her home and one reason is that she could help to read to the boys - who are even more obsessed with books now that they don't watch tv. Seriously, since Denae's been able to read well she's been helping "fill-in" for me. Oh gosh that sounds a little Duggarish lol but hey it's the truth.

Bompa comes to visit

2008-03-31T10:30:00.001-07:00

my daddy was here to visit us for 4 days. We loved having him here and he spoiled us, sheesh. The kids had so much fun and Denae was in tears after Aaron and he left to go to the airport.

More pics to come asap

Trying to fly some kites

2008-03-31T09:49:00.000-07:00

It gets pretty windy here but apparently it wasn't the right wind speed yesterday for flying kites in the backyard. They sure did try though with the cheapie ones... next time we'll have to go to the park to fly thier nice ones nana bought like this

Happy 1st Birthday Lincoln William

2008-03-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

My sweet baby turned a year old today. Well he's clearly not a "baby" anymore as he's been walking for a few months and doing very toddler like things. Anyway he's still my baby, we are undecided if he'll be our last but alas it's still a little sad. This past year went by so quickly and Lincoln amazes me every single day with the new things he's doing.

*warning: this post is pic heavy... hey you only turn one once, right?

On his Birth Day.

One Year old, so of course mama took a lot of photos today

taking a break

today is all about me

bring on the presents

oh oh this will go perfect on our new swing set and Linc loves swings

now get on with the cake

huh? it's not tres leches yo

Where's my spoon, I'm not sure what to do

ahhh

mmm sugar

oh and had to share this cute one with Jayden taking pics with his camera phone

bG's 3.0

2008-03-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

So after two nights of using my new bum Genius 3.0's I am happy to report that they work super well. Jayden, who generally needs to be changed at least once a night to avoid a ton of leaks was dry. Well, the inserts were soaked but the diaper was dry on the outside and the suedecloth inner. And the best part, dry sheets. I did add a hemp joeybunz to the cottonbabies inserts that came with the bum genius diaper. Lincoln's have worked without adding anything else. I really like these, haven't been this excited about diapers for a long time haha. I'm thinking of adding more of these to my stash for sure. Yay for getting back to full time cloth again.

Lincoln's modeling on the med snap setting:

for more info, check out www.bumgenius.com or where I purchased them www.abbyslane.com she ships them super fast, 1-2 days until you get 'em.

Happy 5th Birthday Nathan

2008-03-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

He is such a big boy, wow five years already. He's been waiting for this one, counting down the days and drawing a line thru as each one passes on his calendar.

He's so brilliant, really he is. Like his big sis he LOVES math. He can add and subtract any single digit numbers and has many double's memorized so he can impress strangers and family members LOL.

He's also began to read and write. He amazes me with how much he knows already, it's kinda frightening. Oh and he's super excited for kindergarten registration which occurs in a couple weeks. He has missed school so much the last few months and is eager to go back in the fall with Denae.

Happy Birthday Big BOY. So lucky that grandpa "bompa" was here to celebrate with us.

Getting ready to go shopping with just mama.

His new table and chairs

new kicks... and wheels

sharing with J

...and his bug catcher

T-BALL woohoo

why yes it's tres leches cake and THOMAS the Train

He loved it but the first thing he said when we picked it up was "oh man why'd they have to use RED icing" HA, he's my kid for sure.

100,000 page views at Associated Content

2008-03-25T15:40:00.000-07:00

Click here if you wanna check it out, you know you do. haha

I just checked and I really did get over my goal, without any real promotion lately either. woohoo. maybe it will motivate me to submit more content... yeah we'll see.

In honor of my success and in a half-ass attempt to get the three people who read this to click, here's a few of my top* viewed articles. I figure if they are getting hits they must contain something helpful, right?

*disclaimer: they are top as in most page views not necessarily well written or highly rated by readers.

How to Get Rid of Your Toxic Chemicals and Clean Your Home Naturally

Migraines Could Cause Brain Damage

Review of the Safety 1st/Cosco Apex 65 Combination Harness and Booster Car Seat

Circumcision Rates Fall in the United States

Man Undergoes Surgery Without Proper Anesthesia and Commits Suicide as a Result

Wal-mart Goes Public with Employee Bonus Program

The Dangers of a Hepatitis B Vaccination for Your Baby

World's Youngest Premature Baby Survives

New State Laws Effective Sunday, July 1st

Circumcision Increases MRSA Risk

Benefits of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea During Pregnancy

How to Choose the Safest Car Seat for Your Child

New Rotavirus Vaccine Danger
FDA Warns Parents - Possibly Life Threatening for Your Child

Cold and Cough Medicine Can Be Dangerous for Young Children

oh and of course the winning piece previously mentioned:

Is the Red 40 Food Dye Additive Having a Negative Impact on Your Child?

and I get that what I should be promoting are articles with the least hits but usually there's a reason for that, either they suck or the web is flooded with similar information so I'll spare ya.

No celebration, I was kidding about that though I did order some more jewelry and diapers. gosh I'm exciting right?

Going big now. HA. 16 gauge curved gold barbells and a pink stone labret - you know, can't afford diamonds yet.

oh and the diapers? 6 bum genius 3.0 baby. The newest version :-D Hoping these work well for bedtime seeing as how Jayden floods those dang overnight Huggies that are supposed to be the most absorbant. We've been using them with no such success. That and they will fit all three boys.

cottonbabies should pay me but here ya go:

Trip down to the Mile High

2008-03-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

Ha, I say down cause we're higher than a mile here in NM. But it's a long shot North up I-25. Like 7 hrs, or more with kiddos. Being a last minute decision we drove all thru the night wednesday to get to Denver in time for morning Dentist appointments. We survived though, on no sleep nonetheless but honestly getting a wisdom tooth pulled wasn't too bad. I actually enjoyed relaxing in the chair for a bit since it was quiet and I was exhausted - the kids were all with Aaron's mom.

Do we look tired or what? stuck in the car on cruise control

Overall it was a positive trip, we got to see a few friends and spend time with family. We also managed a trip with all four kids to the Flat Irons mall and all had a good time. Plus we stayed thru easter so grandma got to watch the kiddos hunt for easter eggs. We got home Sunday after midnight and were super glad to be home. Oh and figured out how to work the DVD player in Aaron's ride made all the difference for the trip coming home.

Denae happy in the car:

Nathan face painted:

Jayden Easter morning:

Lincoln loves mcdonalds playground:

I do wish we had more time and were able to plan out our stay better but like I said we had decided to come in early april and then changed our minds last min. It all worked out in the end, just exhausting and fairly rushed. While we were there we even went to see No 1 Left Standing play at the Gothic. That had to be one of the hardest things Aaron has ever done, watching them with their new drummer but I think it was good in ways, gave him some closure and a new perspective. Difficult though for sure.

Here we are that night:

and me and the lovely Erin :

my lil composer

2008-03-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Not to keep posting about Denae but she has taken such an interest in writing her own music... well at this point it's just the beats rather than the notes persay.

She stayed up late last night in bed saying tee-tee, tee-tee, ta, shhh [rest] LOL she's so smart. Then this morning she jumps outta bed when I go in there and grabs her notebook to show me what she's wrote.

So you know me, I had to take a pic of it... so I can keep it forever.

Front:

Back:

This is what it says along the side:

notes I'm using with them above.

I like to write music notes. When I am done I read them. It's fun to write them. I like it because when I write them all the time it just gets better and bettter all the time. When I write them I read them all the time. I always write a story too about it. The end.

[spelling not exactly how she wrote it, but I laugh when I read lick for like. otherwise for the most part she is right on. with punctuation too]

She makes me proud for sure, now she needs to decide if she'd like to take private music lessons and if so what instrument to start with. Aaron of course is hoping for drums.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

2008-03-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

Denae is so funny. Last night we were talking about St. Patrick's Day and I asked her which green shirt she wanted to wear to school.

She said uh, neither. Everyone else will be wearing green. I wanna be different. Plus I kinda want to get pinched.

LOL she's so cute. Aaron said she's just like her mama.

anyhow this am she decided on her own to wear the long sleeved green shirt and a matching hair tie.

But she did enjoy pinching me when I went to wake her up since I was only wearing black and blue.
I love that kid.

Holy Tumbleweeds

2008-03-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

It was super windy today and being one of the few houses around here with a fenced in yard we got about 10 big balls of tumbleweed- if that's what they are called- blown and thus trapped.

The kids loved watching them roll around outside.

Jayden said, "wow, look at the BIG pokies."

my first two children

2008-03-15T23:12:00.000-07:00

last post before I go pass out, promise.

I just went to check on the kids. Earlier Denae and Nathan were playing Pet Shop with all the stuffed animals they could find. They had them arranged on blankets and had toy food and water bowls and whatnot set up for them. They had money out and were selling them to me with instructions on how to best take care of them.

Anyhow, they decided they were tired and carried their favorite ones upstairs and went to sleep. I never did go to "tuck them in" as I was getting Jayden to sleep and it was silent up there so I held of.

Well now I go to turn of the lights and there are Denae and Nathan cuddled up in her twin sized bed with about half of their "pet shop". Gosh they are cute and so sweet sometimes. If my flash worked I would have taken a picture.

I have to say that 9 times outta 10 they are sleeping together in one another's room. Usually it's Nathan's since his bed is bigger but regardless they want to be together. That tenth night they aren't is likely 'cause one went to sleep before the other or they got separated by mom or dad for being too rowdy and not sleeping.

I just wonder how long this will last, I dont mind it in the least it's just that they were so excited to each have their own space. Now that we finally have five bedrooms, enough for everyone... no one wants to be alone at night.

It takes me back to that long six months where all five of us shared a room... this was before Linc obviously. oh man it was crowded and at times difficult to get everyone asleep. but I have to admit there was some comfort in knowing that my whole family was snoozing together in the same space. I really hated that time in our life for a whole buncha reasons and am immensely grateful that things have changed so drastically but looking back I do have fond memories of our family "co-sleeping" for sure.

insomnia

2008-03-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

for some reason I haven't been sleeping well.

All I have to say is thank god for Advil PM

scratch that, thank Wyeth.

It helps, now if only I could give some to Jayden LOL. kidding of course.

maybe some sleepy time tea though. I'll have to try that.

wonder wraps

2008-03-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

They came today. woohoo. My Wonder wraps that is... uh, I mean Lincoln's.

So far I'm impressed. And how economical would they be for someone with a newborn. Here they are on the smallest setting which looks like it would fit a teeny tiny baby. A little bulky but isn't everything at that stage?

On the biggest setting here, I'm thinking they'll fit thru potty learning. Linc's a big boy so we'll see.

He approves. They are on the middle snaps here.

Thanks Kim at Montana's Diaper Store. As always, wonderful customer service and super fast shipping. The extra snappi's are nice too, just nothing to get as excited about.

My Baby Girl Turns SEVEN Today

2008-03-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

Denae is growing up so quickly. Seems like just yesterday we were in the hospital marveling at how tiny our newborn was. Oh and puffy and reddish with a head full of hair... Aaron added that description.

Being our first born, today reminds me that seven years ago we became parents. Wow. There's no way you can prepare yourself for how wonderful it feels to give life and thus be responsible for another human being. One you will love more than you've loved anything or anyone before.

We must have really enjoyed Denae as a baby seeing as how we went on to have three more LOL. She really was an "easy" baby. Not that the boys weren't but this kid almost never cried. ok maybe twice. seriously.

Here's a couple pics from today, all I have edited to fit at this time.

she wanted a real puppy but was more than happy with a "pet shop" one

yes, it's tres leches cake

Denae loves fairies

and Tinkerbelle included

her new bedroom theme

she is the jump rope queen

Mama and Daughter went shopping together today, the boys stayed home with daddy. I think that was by far the highlight of her day. We really did enjoy each other's company and look forward to doing it again soon.

Thanks for the cake sis, my birthday is next.

Body Jewelry

2008-03-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

This is why I don't blog often cause I type too much and get distracted. The reason I was going to mention associated content was to share what I bought with this pay days bonus.

Two different sized ball studs for my labret piercing and two 18 g captive bead hoops for my ears.

Had to pass on what I really want which is solid 14k gold with a tiny diamond, prong setting... you know like this one for the small price of 125.00

But since I lose these suckers fast I don't know if I could ever justify the real thing but hey maybe if I write some more articles and up my page views as well.

Just for fun I looked up OLD pics of Bamm Bamm piercing me, looks painful but good times I tell ya.

Don't look ma, I know you hate this LOL

Red 40 article

2008-03-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything for associated content since November but I still continue to get page view bonuses every month. I log in at least once a week to check for updates and am happy to say that I almost have 100,000 page views on the 99 articles I've had published. woohoo, I will celebrate the day I get to that point. So if you wanna help feel free to click on the link to the right and UP which takes you to my web content page and choose a few articles to read.

I am amazed by the response I've had on my short piece regarding red 40. You know that nasty food dye that is in so many things, mostly foods that young children consume.

I'm up to almost 16,000 hits on that one short article alone. And I get many emails each week from parents with additional information/questions and their story.
Silly cause I am far from an expert on it, just happened to pick a topic that is not found all over the place on the internet.

On a similar note, Jayden talked me into buying Mickey Mouse Bubble bath at the store last night and I grabbed it just to shut him up LOL. Turns out today when we used a capful, not only did it stink like something perfumy making my head hurt but it also contained red 40 among other things. So okay, hopefully not much of the bath water is actually ingested, but it's still soaking into their pores right?

I mean luckily he doesn't have some extreme reaction to red 40 like some children do but he does have eczema and the bottle mentions too many bubble baths can lead to urinary tract infections so I'm not seeing the advantage of it over say a squirt of shampoo for bubbles. ah, not to mention the parabens and who knows what else is in that crap. Like Aaron says "chill out yo, you only live once" so yeah we'll finish up the bottle I suppose but I won't buy that brand again. Damn Mickey mouse picture attracted unsuspecting kids J/K

SO if interested here's the link to my article Is the Red 40 Food dye Additive having a negative impact on your child? - and I do realize the reason I get so many hits is because of the key words in the title, sometimes that makes all the difference when you are googling something. Had I known it would have garnered this much response I would have made it more informative. I believe my initial upfront payment was 8 bucks so I didn't want to go all crazy researching and such.

about red 40 and me... I avoid it like the plague cause it means an instant migraine.

hot air balloons

2008-03-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

can't wait to see some this colorful in person